Merry Christmas and I hope you choke on it!

Some asshole stole the box of presents I mailed to my friend Rogue. Even as I'm preparing a new box, I am just livid at the thought of someone stealing at a time of year that's supposed to be about love and caring. Especially stealing from someone who is one of the most thoughtful, generous, gentle people I know.

Last year, Mallie & Scarecrow gave me a joke Grow-Your-Own-Voodoo-Doll kit. I felt uncomfortable having it in the house and have nearly given it away several times. I don't think it's going to hurt anyone or anything, I just don't like the spirit of wishing harm to someone else that even an unreal and lighthearted voodoo doll seems to represent.

Tonight, however, I could cheerfully use it on whoever stole that box. I need to calm down so that all of this anger doesn't wind up in Rogue's replacement box (which I am sending signature required, even if that does mean locking the barn door, etc.).

Oh, and would the Canadians please check in and let me know if you all got your presents? I'm a bit worried now...

The things you learn on a soap forum...

I'm about the last person most people would associate with anything punk, but today I discovered I'm a huge fan of steampunk. Until today, I didn't know what it is. Then someone mentioned it on the Lush message board, and I looked it up and thought, "Oh, yeah, I love that!"

Having finished "The House that Jack Built" by Robert Asprin and , I'm currently re-reading Mercedes Lackey's novel "The Serpent's Shadow." Both Asprin's Time Scout series and Lackey's Elemental Masters series qualify as steampunk, so it was easy for me to recognize my affinity for the genre.

If there's a lifestyle as well, I'd be happy to sign up. I'm doing some serious drooling over Datamancer's keyboards and other goodies. In addition, I have a secret liking for Victorian-style corsets. Just because I can't afford any of this stuff doesn't mean I don't want all of it.

Happy Soxing Day!

Forget Boxing Day, today is Soxing Day, wherein I put away all the lovely socks I got for Christmas and all my other Christmas loot. I was certainly blessed with lots of goodies this year, including eight pairs of socks. My gifts were fairly successful as well. Apparently, my niece put on her blue princess dress first thing and wore it all day long.

I'm not usually a day after Christmas shopper, but Lush was having a buy one get one or two free promo today, so I met Maresche at the store at 8 a.m., and then got a tour of her house and a chance to meet one of her cats (the notshy tiger one) and watch mini-Maresche be adorable (she even sat on my lap for a bit, such a cutie).

Because I've been short on sleep, I came home, ate a quick lunch and crashed for two hours. When I woke up, I called Doc because we'd made tentative plans for her to stop by so we could exchange Christmas gifts. She said she and her mom were out shopping and could come by in about an hour.

I did a flying tidy-up, and at the very last minute, put away the Willie molds that were sitting in the dish drainer. I was laughing to myself at the fact that I'd almost forgotten they were there! Then when they got here, turns out that Doc's mom was hurting too badly from sciatica to do anything but sit in the car and wait patiently for us. So we didn't have a chance to talk, but we did open presents and say thanks, and Doc absolutely made my day.

Back in July, I'd loaned her my copy of Small Gods. She read it and liked it so much she bought her own copy and one as a gift for a colleague. That's another notch on my enabler belt, and one that I'm awfully damn proud of.

Just call me a disciple of the Small Gods.

Feetgasms

Seriously--Mallie got me some ultrasoft moisturizing socks (Jammies brand socks, no less) and Rogue got me some similar socks, and despite repeated washings, they feel so soft my feet have little feetgasms every time I put them on.

In addition, Jay picked out a pair of Christmas socks that are too freaking cute to be believed. There will be pictures later on, but for now, I will just say that they have jingle bells on them, and even Her Majesty has nothing like them in her vast sock gallery. I rule the sock world!

"Christmas Every Day"

by William Dean Howells. It's a really neat story, and I had forgotten about it until Vegan Lawyer mentioned it Thursday night at dinner. I dug out the ancient anthology in which I have the story, re-read it, and am taking it to Pickypants manor with me on Tuesday.

I am also taking shrimp thingies, brownies, cheddar & port wine spread and lots of presents. Today I got my work for Mom and my shopping done, so tomorrow I can bake and cook and wrap presents and load the car. I feel very festive!

To all of my friends, whatever holidays you celebrate, may they be joyful.

2008 looks good

Small-minded and petty, but we got the 2008 holiday schedule for work, and I have 2 personal days, 6 sick days, 10 company holidays and 15 vacation days. That means JammiesFest 2008 can take as long as it takes (tentatively scheduled for July 10th-15th, so mark your calendars), I can go on the family cruise and I will still have some time to take around the holidays.

Plus, it's the year Shrub becomes a lame duck, so what's not to like? Oh, and Erin has promised me a plethora of Toehawk Sock Zombies to choose from when a co-worker and I are ready to order. How cool is that?

And I'm not making a single damn resolution, either. Yup, I'm looking forward to 2008.

Blech, another decision

Becs is right. Some people are Dementors. About three years ago, someone I'd been friends with for more than a decade took the last steps into Dementorhood, and I have to admit to being relieved when she moved out of state in 2005 and I could let the connection lapse.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the romantic relationship for which she relocated didn't work out, and she's back in the area. Today, she left a message on my answering machine and her phone number, and I have to decide whether or not to call her.

Where exactly does loyalty to an old friend cross the line of self-preservation?

*sigh*

I wish I knew.

Decision Time

Since I will have limited space on the cruise, I need to pick one daytime and one evening scent for bath & body products.

The contenders are:

Daytime:

IoE Frozen Lilac Posy (very soft lilac) 1 vote
Skindecent Treefrog Jammies (piney green notes with lavender) 2 votes
Julphia Snow Angel (white tea with a hint of mint) with BPAL Snow Storm 2 votes

Evening:

Skindecent Pink Carnation with BPAL Pink Moon '07 3 votes
Julphia Sandalwood Vanilla 2 votes
Skindecent Sweet Seduction (white musk, white sugar) 0 votes

More silliness

My elf name is Wacky Spirit-Fingers.

Such a surprise! (not)

Courtesy of my lovely Lioness:

Your Score: The Otter

You scored 46% domestic, 57% gregarious, 64% trickster, and 23% intellect!

Wild, Gregarious, Emotional Trickster: you are the Otter! Playful, capricious, active. Otter people are often very lighthearted, playful people who are naturally joyful. During rough times, otter people are often optimistic and are masters in finding the humor in even the worst situations. Otter medicine teaches the value of laughter, play, and feminine wisdom.

This test categorized you based on four different axes of personality, which were then associated with a different animal. The four axes, as well as all possible results are explained below.

Wild/Domestic: This first axis categorizes you based on how much you are drawn to the outdoors, versus how much you are drawn to civilized situations. Domesticity has many shapes and forms, and varies from the joy of dolphins leaping next to a ship to the steadfast loyalty of a family dog.

Gregarious/Solitary: This axis measures how solitary you are. If you scored high, it means that you enjoy the company of other people, while a low score indicates that you prefer a more solitary lifestyle.

Trickster/Serious: This axis measures how well you line up with conventional trickster archetypes. People who fall into this archetype have a sense of humor and an excitable, highly chaotic streak. Scoring low doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of humor; it just means that you probably don't think dynamite is very funny.

Intellectual/Emotional: This last axis determines whether you are more emotional -- acting based on feelings and instinct, or rational and intelectual -- acting more on thought than on your gut feelings.

Talk about internet virii!

Last night, a friend in Australia sent me a Yahoo message just to tell me about his miserable head cold.

Today, I have a miserable head cold.

Clearly, ZoneAlarm is ineffective.

Did I mention I'm miserable?

Say what?

A long time ago, a friend said to me, "You wouldn't say shit if your mouth was full of it."

Maybe so, but I certainly said it today, and quite loudly. I went and put in my time for Bosstopus, then stopped at the warehouse store (BJ's) on my way home. It's too damn close to a mall for comfort, and all of the holiday shoppers were in a festive, obnoxious, selfish mood. My nerves were fairly frayed by the time I got there, but I calmed down with the acquisition of three tins of Harmony Bay Autumn Spice coffee and all the other goodies I'd gone to get.

As I was in the checkout line unloading stuff onto the conveyor, the cashier started it up after it had been still for a minute or two. Unfortunately, it startled me when that happened. Disastrously, I had a 22 oz. jar candle in each hand, and both of them went flying. Glass shattered everywhere, I yelled "SHIT!" and everyone looked at me. Sadly, a hole in the floor failed to open, and I was forced to load the rest of my items on the once-more-paused conveyor, pay for my stuff, and do the Modified Walk of Shame to the car.

I hope Goldilocks likes her damn candles, that's all I have to say! :P

I love jammies. Love, love, love jammies.

Totally gave me a giggle yesterday when a co-worker said that. Then I had to explain why I was giggling. I'm enjoying this month of peace and quiet and preparation for next year. In 2008, I will be responsible for 22 books, and I plan to do each one well. Of course, nobody plans to screw up, lol, so we shall see.

On Monday, Scary Boss Lady brought in lunch for everyone, and it was quite a spread. Actually, I'm getting to the point where she's not so scary and just the boss now. She and I had talked briefly about the painted pointsettias being sold at Home Depot. They're white pointsettias with the white leaves/petals painted blue or lavender and covered in glitter, and for some reason, I immediately thought of BL when I saw them. She had seen them too, and hadn't bought one because she already has plenty of houseplants. Sounds familiar to me! I decided that as a thank-you for the wonderful lunch, I would get one for her. This morning, I set it on her desk, along with a thank you note, and she came over to my cube specifically to say how thoughtful it was.

Afterwards, of course, I was second-guessing myself and wondering if I was being a suckup, but if I am, I am. *shrug* It makes me happy to make other people happy and that's the whole point of this season.

We also had a dessert reception and cookie contest today. I took about two dozen of my homemade coconut macaroons just to have an excuse to make them. They did turn out ugly but yummy as always. Maresche made two big sugar cookies shaped like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story and marked "Fragile." One co-worker made gingerbread cookies and hung them on a tree using red licorice whips. There were oatmeal scotchies, Cookie Monster cookies, caramel crumb bars, raspberry almond spice cookies and all sorts of delicacies. What won? Mostly blandness. First prize went to banana-walnut cookies, which I didn't try and were probably very good given that I love banana bread. But second and third place went to spritz cookies and sugar cookies of all things. Sheesh. Bo-RING.

And now that I have the snark out of my system, I will say that it was a nice break and a chance to make macaroons and hang around chatting with my co-workers. And all of the leftover macaroons are going to my folks' house rather than coming home with me!

The best-laid plans of mice and men

(and Jammieses) gang aft agley. It was nice to wake up without the alarm this morning, and nice to not have to swing immediately into headless chicken mode. It was also nice to have a leisurely shower and time to get dressed without rushing.

Unfortunately, the niceness of my day ended as soon as I got to my mechanic's. He was actually out of oil and couldn't change the oil in my car. Rather than go home and upset the dogs by turning around and leaving again in less than an hour, I opted to go get my shopping done. I just finished reading A Year Without Made in China, and it's made me a bit more conscious of labels. I wound up with a glass bowl made in Turkey, holiday cards made in the U.S., two beautiful water glasses made in the U.S., wrapping paper made in Thailand and socks made in Indonesia. I certainly am not boycotting all Chinese-made items, but I like the idea of spreading my money around the globe a bit. Thank goodness my bath product addiction is satisfied with items made in Canada or the U.S.!

After the shopping, I got a haircut, and then went to the dentist, where the niceness was further worn off my day. My dentist is no longer with the group, and now I have to get used to a new one, who will no doubt leave as soon as she has the money to open her own practice. She lectured me about my failure to use Listerine, ick, and Sensodyne, double ick, but said that the X-rays and exam were fine.

Then I came home and waited excitedly for the electrician to arrive to install my kitchen and hall light fixtures. The appointment time was for "after three" and when no one had shown up or called by 4:15, I called the company. The person I spoke with hadn't heard of me, my name wasn't on the schedule, and the woman I did talk to was gone for the day and nobody had a way to reach her. The last bit bothers me the least--I wouldn't want them calling her at home and ruining her evening, too.

So now I am here with my new light fixtures in the kitchen getting in the way, worrying about whether or not I did actually call Thompson Electric last week and make an appointment for today or if I'm just losing my mind. Ugh.

Oh, and just to add the frosting onto the Cupcake of Doom, the artificial Christmas tree in the garage which I was planning to use instead of buying a real tree this year is a falling-apart POS that should have been thrown out years ago. *sigh*

To the driver of the olive-green SUV:

This time of year, traffic seems to be worse and drivers seem to be meaner and less forgiving. I don't know if it's the early darkness, holiday stress, end-of-year crunch time or what, but it's evident in my evening commute home.

That being the case, thank you for paying attention so that even though my left turn signal is burnt out, you noticed I needed to get over and moved over to make room. Thank you for slowing at the next on-ramp to allow those people onto the expressway, and thank you for moving over a lane when the slower of the two continued to hesitate.

The more we pay attention to others and try to improve even little things, the better the world gets. Thank you very much.

A new personal record!

I managed to get lost not once but twice on the way home from PickyPants Manor. The first time, I lost ten minutes by getting turned the wrong way in their development and not realizing I'd come out on the wrong road until I hit downtown Powell. The second time, I took the truck driveway into the Flying J plaza and lost five minutes driving around to see if it connected to the auto part of the parking lot/gas pumps, realizing it didn't, and exiting and re-entering.

Still, it was a great day. I left the house early, stopped at Home Depot and bought a new space heater for the breezeway, then had a smooth, if boring, drive to Columbus. We had a nice lunch, then the boys and I built their gingerbread trees, we played a game of Uno, Anabel and I discussed the menu for Christmas dinner, and I headed home.

Despite losing some time due to my own idiocy, only the last fifteen minutes of my drive were in the dark, and none of it on 71. I did see a deer barely a heartbeat outside of the Akron city limits, and was glad I had braked because I was going down a hill. I've never seen one that close to the actual city before, and I hope it was just chance and not because there are even more of the poor things starving to death in the Valley.

Of course, feeling sorry for the deer lasts only as long as they aren't in my yard eating my flowers. Then they're just pests.

Oh, and today's Christmas socks were bright kelly green, with ornaments in red and gold on them.

Sweaters and parkas and socks, oh my!

Sweaters: Bookworm Mathgeek and one of her friends are both ahead of me in weight loss, so I am getting lovely presents as they ingrow things. In fact, one day a while back, from the waist up I was entirely dressed in things Bookworm had given me--two sweaters, earrings and headbands.

Parkas: Well, actually, it's a stadium jacket. I've been drooling over this particular jacket (in chocolate) for a while. I've ingrown both my denim jacket and my fleece reversible coat, but as much as I wanted this one, it was out of my price range. Then, on Thursday, a catalog arrived with a 50% off one item coupon on the cover, and Bosstopus agreed to buy the jacket instead of giving me a cash bonus for Christmas. Today at work, I called and ordered it, and it should be here by late next week. Bosstopus and I also had a very productive morning, a nice lunch, and good luck shopping at Borders. I am now DONE with my holiday shopping. Hooray!

Socks, oh my! On Friday, there was no heat at Hyphenated Corp. Apparently, sending people home because there is no heat is something that just doesn't happen. People who had vacation/sick/personal hours to burn took the time, others left early, and some of us just stayed and worked with blue fingernails. It did actually warm up a bit in the afternoon simply due to the presence of bodies generating heat, but never reached what anyone sane would call "warm."

Because it was a bit of a slow and purposeless day, Galahad brought the tape of his two appearances on Jeopardy in 1988. Most of the team trooped down to the basement meeting area to watch, and we had a lot of fun watching the show, playing along, and laughing at the commercials. So where, you ask, are the socks?

I had worn my black flats that day, with my red socks with reindeer faces printed on them and reindeer head pompoms on the back. Tigger admired them, and I rashly stated that I have enough pairs of Christmas socks to wear every work day between now and December 25th, upon which she challenged me to do so. If I remember, I shall post in my blog which holiday socks I wear each work day.

Super Enabler

In the world of bath product fan/addicts/fanatics, "enabling" simply means to get someone else interested/intrigued/addicted to a particular scent or brand. I've done most of my enabling to Skindecent. Mallie, Maresche, Doc, Amy and Vintage Girl are all hooked on assorted products or scents from this truly amazing company. Second is Julphia, to which I have lured KellyGirl, Vintage Girl and MaryMargrt. By the end of 2007, I hope to have my Super Enabler cape, decoder ring and merit badge.

A while back, I did a swap with someone and got my paws on a lovely perfume (Autumn Romance) from Patrician Treasures. I wore it to work one day, and Blondezilla went absolutely Librarian-poo over it. I sent her the link to the website, and about fifteen minutes later, got this wistful little e-mail saying, "There's so many scents! How do you choose?" Bwahahahaha! You get one of everything that sounds good, of course!

Long day

The first real snow has hit, and my commute in this morning took forever. I don't mind the time in the car, because I can think and plot and plan and dream. However, an hour in a toasty warm car that is largely stationary makes me want to go to sleep. Shortly after I got to work, the power went off--construction crews working on a new building up the street hit a power cable.

The lack of electricity didn't affect my plans for the morning, as Galahad and I were planning to use the morning to put away books anyway. Yesterday afternoon, we got most of the books sorted and arranged on shelves, and we reserved this morning for all the Massachusetts books. Once that had been done, it was time to order lunch from Aladdin's (yum), and then go get it.

All in all, a very nice, quiet day.

*whew*

Today was my quarterly review. I still have a job, I have some things I need to improve, and in 2008, I will be responsible for all analytical material for the state of Kentucky. I'm also now the team librarian.

I had very weird dreams on Saturday when I napped, or one long weird dream involving (in order): rock concerts, Britney Spears, Jack Black, Jon Bon Jovi, a zoo, the seaside, singing, Egypt, facing down Set, killing a bad guy and spiders. I'd blame it on work anxiety, but it's more likely that Lush lavender gives me odd dreams.

My guest bedroom is full of boxes, each labeled with a name and filled with presents. I'm waiting for an order from Skindecent so I can tuck the last few items in, and then I will be ready to mail out most of my Christmas presents. The rest will be personally delivered when I go to Pickypants Manor for Christmas Day, to work friends at work, or to my friends Amy & Doc whenever I can lure them over here.

All in all, I'm feeling that this particular Monday could have been much worse.

Well, I thought it was funny

From the Lush forum. The task was to write a personal ad, five lines or less. Here's mine:

For the discriminating gentleman who appreciates vintage items. 1965 wide-body model free to right buyer. Runs well on chocolate, compliments and exotic bath products. Most original factory equipment still installed. Minimal rust and dings, upholstery shows some wear-and-tear, tailpipe and other systems clean.