Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hodge Podge

Aerosmith's "Back in the Saddle Again" keeps running through my head. A little under four years ago, I underwent all kinds of tests to see what exactly was wrong with me, and after many scares and diagnoses of minor ailments, I found out I had MS. Now I'm back to the testing thing again, this time for that pain I had a month or so ago. My new doc says it's too low on my body to be my gallbladder, but it could be adhesions from the hysterectomy, a hernia, or possibly even the c-word. I have an abdominal CT scan scheduled for tomorrow evening, and my diet tomorrow will consist entirely of water and barium solution. I'm worried that the CT scan won't show anything, and I'll be back in the saddle of endless medical tests again.

One thing I learned from my first experience with medical testing is that you go on. It's difficult to live your live at a fever-pitch of fear, so you keep going. On that basis, today I did half an hour's worth of weeding, baked a cinnamon streusel coffee cake I can't eat but will take in to work tomorrow, made three Wet Willies, did five loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, took a nap and shortly I will go take a bath with one of my precious Ice Hotels, scrub myself with my R.I.P. cauldron from Isle of Eden, and take a benadryl or four to make sure I sleep.

This week, I will plant thirty daffodil bulbs; help Mom transplant three azaleal bushes I'm giving her; get back in the habit of entering a few books each evening to GoodReads; mail off some packages to friends, and attend Ohio Mart with my mother and my sister-in-law. I will throw out all of the sweatpants that no longer fit, take a large box of clothing to Goodwill, and celebrate the fact that the scale this morning showed 222.2 pounds. I will also build a book for the first time.

Whatever happens with the medical stuff, life has to go on, or there's not much point in anything, is there?

Friday, September 28, 2007

Green-eyed monster

Despite four decades of self-awareness, I've not yet managed to figure out exactly where the line is between envy and jealousy. Maybe it's just a matter of degree.

I am certainly envious, if not all the way to jealous, of friends with more money, bigger brains, slimmer figures, etc. Fortunately, all of my friends who have those things are also amazingly sweet, which takes the sting out of the envy--if I can't order BPAL on a regular basis, at least someone I adore can romp through the LE catalog. *grin*

Tomorrow, I will be training my replacement. The new job is improving, and next week I will be building my very first book. Nonetheless, there is something very concrete and real about the door that closes when Bosstopus' new administrative assistant begins her new job. I'm the one who talked Bosstopus into meeting with her, and they're both excited, but first of all, it means I can't go back if things don't work out at Hyphenated Co., and second, it means that someone else is getting to work with my mom, and yes, I'm flat-out jealous of that.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Lucky readers--three posts in one day!

A few thoughts about boobs:

about boobs.

For those of you who haven't seen the pic, it's here:¤t=Sept12_2007_2.jpg

I've lost 145 pounds in the last thirteen months, and not much of it has come off my chest. A friend saw this pic, and so did her hubby, and they both had the same reaction.

"That's a great pic, but you'd be overwhelmingly hot if you got a better bra."

I will admit, the thought of being "hot," something I have never been in my life, was tempting, and I asked someone for bra-buying advice, and looked around a bit, and finally decided against bra-shopping.

I've never liked these things attached to my chest.

I had them early, and when I was in junior high and had to walk past the high school to get to choir practice, the jocks would catcall as I went by.

The sheer weight of them hurts, whether they're in or out of a bra.

I've rolled over on them wrong in bed, had them get caught in doors, knelt on by my ex, etc.

They're not sexy to me. Fat is not a responsive type of flesh. Granted, my nipples are sensitive, but they are a tiny portion of my boobs, and there is very damn little a man can do with them that has any sexual effect on me.

Putting these floppy things in a tight, structured, lift-and-separate, earthquake-proof, steel-belted bra is false advertising.

A fancy bra is equal to TEN bubble bars, which is twenty baths.

So, as long as they're not actively south of my waistband, and until I have reached my goal weight and can have these ****ing things reduced, I will wear my old bras and take them off the minute I get into my house.

MasterCard would never say...

Bubble bath: $13.00
Sugar scrub: $15.00
New well pump: $973.30
Not going around stinky: $1,001.01.

Not my favorite Friday

Last night, I had my Skindecent goodies and was prepared to marinate myself in Un Bois Vanille. Unfortunately, when I had all of two inches of water in the tub, the water stopped.

It stopped throughout the house, which probably means I need a new well pump. Hello, plumber, goodbye $600.

I am sitting here unshowered and rather cranky, waiting to hear back from the plumber my dad recommended (they open at 7:30). I was supposed to have some training at 9 this morning, which has already been rescheduled once and now has to be re-rescheduled, plus I have all of Maresche's goodies from her part of the Skindecent order.


Sometimes, being a homeowner stinks.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Good, the Bad and the Snobby

The Good:

My new doctor listens, the office is fresh and immaculate, and it's within walking distance of my house. I don't have gallstones.

The Bad:

Said new doctor isn't sure what is causing the pain, so I have to have an abdominal CT.

The Snobby:

Who is this Robin Thick person, and why is my local smooth jazz station playing his song? It is not even remotely jazz, with its smarmy, moronic lyrics, insipid music and that baby voice! I hope his voice changes soon and/or a family member steals all of his money and he winds up working in the drive-through at a fast-food restaurant somewhere.

Why does a local plastic surgeon find it necessary to have testimonials solely from the husbands of women who've used his services? "My wife had the breast procedure, and..." Yes, your wife got bigger boobs to make you happy, and now she falls over regularly and wonders why her back hurts all the time! Grrrr. May your wife demand that you get your belly fat sucked out and get a dick extension while you're at it. Oh, wait, you already bought the Jaguar!

And why does some idjit who is the new version of Carlton Sheets think that "If you have a mortgage, a car loan, or credit card debt, you are a victim?" Yes, I know that there are predatory lenders out there, but not everyone is a victim of one. I happen to have a mortgage at a local bank, which helped me get my dream house, which, in addition to providing a roof over my head, also improves my credit score and allows me to live in peace and happiness. May a stack of your "free audio CDs" fall on you and smoosh you to death.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The perfect Saturday

I woke up at 6:30, surfed the 'net a bit, checked the forum, showered and went in to work at Mom's office. After a very productive morning, I closed up the office and headed for the Beachwood Lush. I got there, and told the SA who offered her help that I was there to pick up my discons.

Apparently, Beachwood had so many discon orders that they had to leave them in their storage area elsewhere in the mall, and the SA went to get them. She came back with a Lush bag, and rang me out. In addition to my discons, I got 2 Green Days and a Pop in the Bath (blue). While I was paying, KellyGirl and Mr. KellyGirl came in. We were chattering away, and Kelly asked what I'd gotten. I told her, and looked in my bag--there were the six Flower Tubs, two Psychodelics, bottle of Chai and bottle of Slammer, but :shock: [i]no Ice Hotels[/i]!

I asked the SA if there was another bag with my name on it, because my Ice Hotels were missing. She asked how many I'd ordered, and I said "Twenty." She asked how many were in my bag and I said "None!" She went off to re-check, and was gone for quite a while. When she came back, she was carrying a box, which had my first name and my forum name written on it, and said that Chef Lush had said something to her about RedJammies' box.

Of course, I hadn't given her my forum name. :lick:

So there in the box were twenty beautiful Ice Hotels, smelling like the most perfect combination of lavender and mint. KellyGirl paid for her discons, Chief paid for his Teo, Kelly and I both got goodie bags, and we headed over to the California Pizza Kitchen for lunch. At this point, I have to say that today was a gorgeous fall day--a high of 58ยบ F, and sunny and bright.

The service was a little slow at lunch because they were short-staffed at the restaurant, so it was about 3:45 when I went out to my car. I opened the door and the scent that met me was absolutely heavenly. I drove the 25 minutes to my parents' house in a glorious Ice Hotel fog.

When I got there, Mom rustled around getting a care package ready (3 yogurts and 2 huge homegrown tomatoes) and Dad fixed my garage door remote. Mom said three times how good I smelled, and I insisted she sniff the bubble bars in the trunk. Thank goodness she doesn't take baths, or I'd have had to share. }:-)

Two miles from my parents' house, there is a railroad crossing. As I came down the hill, I saw a train on the track, so I slowed down and stopped behind the other four cars already there. I had counted one hundred thirty-five cars, only six yet to cross, when the train came to a full stop. I waited a few minutes, then pulled out my phone and called Kogi, and we chatted for fifteen minutes, during which time the train never moved. Finally, I turned the car around and went the long way home, yakking with Kogi all the while.

So now I'm home, the 'Foots have been fed, let outside twice, are chasing each other around the living room growling and snarling, and I'm thinking about a hot dinner and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng bath.

Guess what with? :)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Now that you're thin, I hate you.

Dear C,

When I first found you, you were thick and fluffy, and worth every penny you cost me.

Now, you are thin and mean, but you still think you're worth the same expensive price.

I'm leaving you in five more rolls.



P.S. I might try the Charmin, even though the bear commercials irritate me no end.

If anyone knows of a soft, sturdy, septic-safe replacement for Cottonelle, I'd love the info!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Sherri no longer has the World's Cutest Shoes. I do. When Mom & I went shopping, I bought lots of pretty fall clothes, and then couldn't wear them until I got a pair of brown shoes. Yesterday, I bought them ($20 at Payless, yay me!) and today I wore them with my new brown skirt which makes me feel like a woodwitch, a soft brown sweater, and a tan & brown plaid blazer. I showered with orange gingerbread stuff, and today I felt like I looked good and smelled good.

Below is the adorable mug my friend MegaKogiMonster made for me. It was originally intended as a birthday present from a mutual friend, but this one has a tiny mistake (not pictured, so don't go cross-eyed looking for it) and Kogi couldn't bring herself to throw it away, so eventually she sent it to me and I love it. She's as talented as she is sweet.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Must. Sleep. Soon.

The learning curve on this proprietary XML-based coding system is kicking my ass. I've been having bizarre anxiety dreams that wake me up at 2 a.m. and still having trouble falling asleep. I did get to vent both to Zayrina* and to Mentorella today, so I'm feeling a bit better, especially since the latter told me it takes about two years before anyone is really comfortable using the system. On the one hand, that's a long time. On the other hand, I know how to wait, and I'm already one month into the twenty-four, and now I know that I will learn this.

It would be easier, though, if law books could just use CAPS when it's time to EMPHASIZE something. Pfui. Mostly, this just drives me crazy because I hate making mistakes, really really really hate it. *sigh*

*I got to whine to Zayrina because her SO got confuzled and dialed my number at 8:00 this morning while I was on the expressway, whereupon I promptly lost my connection and for the five minutes I had to wait to call back I was worrying that said Zayrina was hospitalized or worse. Thankfully, she is fine and she now has a little extra ammunition for mockage of said SO.

KellyGirl's beloved rescue pooch, Termite, had to be put down this past week. Not only does my heart go out to her, but it makes me cherish the 'Foots and worry a little more about them. With any luck, KG will be visiting this weekend for some fur therapy. Littlefoot especially will be thrilled to have a human revelling in petting him.

Despite a cup of coffee the minute I got home (which should have kicked in by now, it's been an hour), I'm still sleepy as heck and trying to resist taking a nap. As much as I love naps and napping, if I take one now, I will be up late tonight and groggy at work tomorrow. This stuff is bad enough when I'm alert--I don't need to try to do it while I'm semi-comatose.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Bipolar day

No, not me, the day itself.

I didn't get enough sleep last night.

The toilet overflowed right after I was showered and clean, so I had to use every rag I had on the floor and dump them in the tub until I could take care of them later.

In the car, Bosstopus hit me with a problem she thought we had with one of our wards' checking account.

Then we got to work, and got a whole lot done in four hours.

The place we wanted to go shopping was in a part of Akron that is deteriorating. Numerous businesses have closed, and there wasn't anything resembling a restaurant, just fast-food places.

At first, it looked as if the shopping was going to suck as well, but then we started finding things. I wound up with $178 worth of clothing for $75, Mom bought herself a gorgeous burgundy shrug & skirt outfit, and we found a three-piece set of American Tourister rolling luggage for me for $75.

Then I came home, washed all the gross rags, scrubbed out the bathtub, watered the plants, made my salad for tomorrow, ate a hot dog for dinner, and am sitting here sore as heck, waiting for the washer to finish so I can take a hot bath.