Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Why Jammies is walking funny

The following is not for delicate flowers, and I'd prefer if Captain Crossword elected not to read any further. Girl gross stuff follows here.
















Friday night, I had teeny-tiny little cramps.

They felt like menstrual cramps.

Saturday morning there were tiny little spots in my undies.

They looked like the start of a period.

HELLO, I HAD MY F***ING UTERUS REMOVED IN FEBRUARY, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

Insert a day of trying to be normal while totally freaking out over all of the potential Bad Things it could mean that I had cramps and bleeding. Insert a second day of running around the house doing things and trying to convince myself I was fine. Insert a third day in which the receptionist at my OB/Gyn's office interrupted me and said, "What time are you available tomorrow?"

So after work today, I went in to see Hot Doctor. He listened to my description of events, told me it was probably a seroma, stuck what felt like the World's Biggest Speculum up my hooha and took a look. He said it was the smallest seroma he'd ever seen, cauterized it (eep!) and pronounced me well.

I never felt a thing but the giant metal device inside me, so point for his swiftness with the cauterization, but next time, I'm going to ask that he look for a smaller speculum. I swear that one was made for a moose.

9 comments:

Sherri said...

No Ob/GYN for mooses! Doctor Hottie needs to perfect his technique!

KLN said...

Ouch, and I'm glad everything is ok, but PLEASE, call HotDoc IMMEDIATELY next time, ok? I mean, you rush the aminals to the vet, right?

Jammies said...

It was just teeny pain, K, about a 2 on a scale of 1-10. I figured I could last until Monday and I did.

Not exactly the kind of stress I wanted for my last week at this job, especially considering we have three accountings due this week, lol.

rgraham666 said...

Oh dear.

*HUGS* for you, Jammies.

Jay said...

you and Sherri are cut from the same block of cheese-cake! animal has a problem... RUN FOR THE EMERGENCY VET, NOW! you have blood, or pain, or incapacity... "it's only a flesh wound, no need to worry... see, I'm holding my entrials in... we're good!"

*rolls eyes*

tell Hottie to get a heated/vibration mode to his specularum next time!

Jammies said...

Thanks Rob. :*

Jay, of course we are, we are twins born to different mothers at different times.

And that thing was way too big to even think about how it would feel heated. *cringe*

Jay said...

what if he breathed hot air upon it, slowly, while wearing nothing but his lab coat and white briefs?

Sherri said...

Those just aren't the sort of thoughts one is open to in a GYN appointment. Just sayin'...

Mike From Eerie said...

boy stuff like this seems to be happening a lot around here.....