Today's peeves

Not pet peeves, because two pets is enough. Just the things that are bugging me today.

Deer: Nasty hooved pests ate most of two gladiolus plants, flowers and leaves.

The cute young lady in the waiting room at my doctor's office: It's one thing to vocalize your anger about having to wait more than thirty minutes. It's less classy to do so while your three year old and your five year old are listening to you. It's downright trashy to do so while your kids are listening to you use the F word as every other word.

Headaches: 'nuff said.

A certain poster on a certain message board: Your girlfriend and your best friend are both drama queens who want you all to themselves. They're never going to like each other, and either you're going to go on between the two of them, or it's going to flare into open war again, and one of them is going to pin you to a metaphorical wall and demand that you choose. But that's okay--you love drama yourself, don't you? Oh, and while I'm at it, nobody who makes a big production of being "an Empath" ever really is one, so shut up.

Clients: All of you can take your teeny IQs and your huge egos and just drown them before I do it for you, okay?

Attorney Clueless: You followed your usual pattern of dinking around and having to re-learn things you were told six months ago, and so the court cited you. That happened last month, and now you call on a Thursday afternoon and pout because my boss can't return your call until late Friday afternoon? Where did you get your degree, someplace that advertises on matchboxes? And exactly how many times did you have to take the Florida Bar before you passed? You make my fingers itch for your throat, you really do.

I've got more, but damn, my head hurts.