Sometimes I forget...

that MS is a killer.  Then I go to the calling hours of a man only three years my senior, who only in the last few years has re-connected with his grown sons and met his grandchildren, and I remember.

I have been so lucky that MS has only lightly touched me, and overall has not diminished my quality of life.  But the flip side of that coin is that I have a responsibility to be mindful of my luck.  I don't always know what is right, but I know that I can always try harder.

So as I wish healing to the family of a man too young to die, I resolve once more to think about who I am and how I treat others.

Did I miss a holiday?

Because it appears that today is Try to Kill Your Pack Leader Day.  First Zeus uses chemical warfare on Mallie and this morning Mouse made me fall.  

As you know if you read this blog regularly, Mouse is a 14 year old yellow Lab.  He's got severe arthritis in his hips and back legs, and lately he can't climb up the two concrete steps that lead to the back door.  I've been going out and helping him back in while looking for a good, reliable ramp that doesn't cost a fortune.  

This morning, I let Mouse out, and ten minutes later walked out to let him in.  I was behind him, not really doing anything other than bracing him against a backward fall when in a sudden burst of energy, he surged up and over both stairs and into the house, and I fell forward.  I'm not entirely sure where my feet were, because I've been having sporadic episodes of MS foot drop.  I landed on my hands and one knee, so now I have bruises on the heels of both hands, some nice road rash on my leg and an knee that screams at me when I ask it to support my weight.  Oh, and my shoulders hurt like hell.

Could we please consign this holiday to the circular file?

Yup yup still alive in here!

There hasn't been much that's both noteworthy and post-to-the-blog-worthy lately.  Little Miss Piggie Pie is still a brat but a very sweet one, Mouse is doing amazingly well for a nearly 14 year-old Lab, work is good, the family is good bar some health issues, and I am fine.

Of course, the more interesting work is the less I can talk about it, but Mom gave me a raise for my part-time gig. :)  Oh, and my MRI on Thursday showed no new lesions, which given that I've been off the Copaxone for over three years is pretty damn impressive.  The lesions I do have are inactive, so basically the MS is in remission, which is good enough for me.

The best and biggest news is that Mallie is coming to visit with me for a weekend in November!  Maybe we'll have a birthday party for Mouse.  Or maybe we'll just eat good food, read books and yak.

From "Aaargh!" to "Whee!" and back and forth

This whole week was bipolar. Good things happened on top of bad things and then more good and bad things happened. Some of the highlights:

After a year of fighting with what used to be INS and is now USCIS and a lot of correspondence with Homeland Security, we finally got a replacement green card for an elderly Ward.

We moved two other elderly Wards to new housing, both unwillingly.

My lilacs are in full bloom, but we only got one day of sunshine.

I lost a day and a half to a severe allergy attack.

Still, the week ended on a good note, because I got to spend a day with my dad and got some good news, too.

Mom was originally supposed to take me to my annual MRI-with-sedation and neuro appointment at the Cleveland Clinic, but since the local probate courts don't bother to check with attorneys when they're scheduling, she wound up with a hearing Friday morning. So at 7:45, my dad and I left his house headed for Cleveland.

Traffic was surprisingly light for rush hour, and we made it to the Clinic with time to spare, and then had more time to kill because the sedation nurse is also responsible for the Tysabri infusions, and she had a bit of a crisis. Still, at 9:30 I was getting my Xanax and at 10 I was having the MRI and not minding it at all. The nurse gave Dad a ton of instructions, which I mostly rolled my eyes at, then Dad and I went out for decent coffee and a mediocre Danish, both overpriced. Then we came back and hung out in the waiting room until my 1:00 appointment.

I was very nervouse, because I've been off the Copaxone for over a year, and I didn't know what was going to show up on my MRI. I met with the nurse practioner first, and she had me do all the sobriety test-type things, then we talked, then she told me that Dr. Cohen was actually in (I was told I'd be seeing a staff neuro, so it was good that I was seeing my doc!) and went and got him. Dr. Cohen told me that my MRI still shows that I have a lot of lesions, but none of them have gotten bigger, and I don't have any new ones! He's actually okay with me being off any meds, if I'm willing to come see him more often, but he also wants me to check with my prescription insurance to see if Fingolimod is covered. I would love, love, LOVE to take an oral med rather than a shot, so on Monday, I'll be calling to find out if it's in their formulary.

After I'd skipped out to the waiting room and told Dad it was good news, we went for a late lunch at a Cleveland institution--Corky and Lenny's. I had a bowl of so-so potato soup and a gorgeous corned beef sandwich, and Dad just had a corned beef sandwich. We actually spoke with Corky, who seemed a little insulted that I hadn't finished my soup, but was mollified when I raved about the sandwich. It was pouring when we left, so Dad took the umbrella and went to get the car while I ducked into the Malley's two doors down. The store was a little on the bare side, and they said they hadn't finished restocking from Easter, but that was almost two weeks ago, so it seemed like a lame excuse to me. At any rate, I got two dark chocolate bars with pretzel pieces, and dashed for the car.

One of the instructions the nurse had given Dad was that I wasn't to drive for 24 hours, and he seemed inclined to take that as gospel. I kept telling him that I was fine, that I'd had 2 cups of coffee, a Danish, half a sandwich and a Diet Coke since the Xanax and that I had to stop on the way home and get dog food. After a miserable quarter-hour on the freeway in pouring rain, Dad agreed to let me drive home if I came in and had another cup of coffee before I left. I did, and gave Dad his pretzel bar as a surprise thank-you since he wouldn't let me pay for anything except the doctor co-pay all day. He said he'd rather have the chocolate bar anyway. My dad, the cheap date.

So I drank the coffee even though my tummy wasn't thrilled with it, hit Pet Supplies Plus for dog food, came home and let the dog out, then in, then fed her and then fell into bed for a long nap, despite all the coffee.

And not only did I have a good day with my dad yesterday, today is plant- and craft- and shoe- and other-stuff-shopping plus lunch with my mom! So although the week was more of a rollercoaster than I like, it's still ending well

ETA: I forgot to mention that I have adorable little house finches nesting in one of the trees in front of the breezeway windows!

In which Dr. Jammicus jumps to a conclusion

Jane Austen: A Life by Claire Tomalin

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Not only is this a fun, easy biography of Jane Austen, I learned many things never covered in college literature courses. I learned in depth about her family, including her sister, Cassandra, who coped with several devastating losses in her life. The author's analyses of Miss Austen's novels is good solid scholarship.



I also learned just enough about Jane's brother Henry to make a wild conclusion--I think Henry had MS. Ms. Tomalin describes Henry as a hypochondriac, noting that at various times his symptoms included "a glowing of the hands" (which sounds like neuropathy to me), faintness, assorted intestinal disorders, dizziness, all of which can be symptoms of MS. Ms. Tomalin also states that later in life, Henry suffered at least one episode in which he was ill for no known reason, and recovered from what seemed to his family to be a fatal illness. Sounds like a classic MS flare or exacerbation!



My silly theory aside, the book is an enjoyable canvas of Miss Jane Austen's life, and definitely worth reading.



View all my reviews

It's official!

For their 50th anniversary, Mom and Dad are taking the whole famdamily on a cruise at Christmas time 2012. We'll be going on the new Disney Fantasy and I'm going to have my own room! With a balcony! Time to start saving money for fun spending. :)

In the meantime, I am struggling with the fact that it's now been more than a year since I was laid off and I've had only two in-person interviews and with the fact that I'm having a MS flare-up which consists of hands (especially the left) feeling like they're swollen when they're not, very painful and tingling more than usual. Also, there is a pompous, pretentious, patronizing, preening jerk on Goodreads I'd like to slap into next week and I've been very bad about sticking to my workout schedule. I'm not sure what I need, but I need something.

Observing cats

Everyone with MS needs to spend some time watching cats. Not only do you learn about the importance of personal grooming and frequent napping, you can also learn the nonchalant walking-away stalk which clearly conveys "I meant to do that" even when "that" is something incredibly stupid.

One of my fun MS symptoms is occasional spasming of my right hand and arm. Of course I am right-handed, so if I happen to be holding something in my right hand, it goes flying. Usually it's a pen, but it has on occasion been a knitting needle, a cracker, a cigarette...

Today I essentially threw a stapler halfway across my mom's desk, and then had to explain about the spasms and my "I meant to do that" theory. Twenty minutes later, it happened again, this time while I was holding the lid to the large glass jar she keeps her paper clips and binder clips in. I just said "I meant to do that" and we went on getting subpoenas ready, so I must be getting better at the nonchalance.

Nibbled to death by ducks

While the storm on the East Coast is causing the city of Atlanta to shut down entirely, here in the Midwest, we're supposed to be used to this, and we're expected to shut up and get on with our lives. While I would like a snow day or two, it usually doesn't bother me to drive into work through a ton of softly falling snow.

However, today was different. First of all, the roads weren't even close to clear. Second, the driver in front of me had his hazards on despite the fact that everyone was driving slowly. Thirdly and possibly most important, I've been off my anti-depressant since Friday. My neuro's office pretty much decided that I don't get refills on either my Lexapro or my Neurontin until I come see the doc and get another MRI.

Yesterday I logged on to the Cleveland Clinic's website and requested appointments for my MRI with sedation and a follow-up with my doc, both to be scheduled on the same day. When I got home, there was a mumbled message on my answering machine saying that I had the MRI on February 8th and the doctor's appointment on February 24th. Of course it was too late to call and reschedule when I got the message, so I listened to it three times and wrote down all the numbers.

After my icky drive in, I took care of the urgent things that needed to be done at the office, then called the number left on my answering machine. I got the main switchboard and some jerk named Michael who got snippy with me for not having enough digits in the extension I'd requested and then for not having even part of the Mellen Center scheduling's extension correct. He put me on hold before I could snap back that I was repeating the number I was given and I was very sorry people had called off work but he didn't need to take it out on me. When he transferred me, the phone line got goofed up and everything had a loud echo to it, including the Clinic ads, hold music, and the person answering my call at scheduling.

The woman who took my call at the scheduling desk was also less than thrilled to help me. At first she tried to tell me that doctors don't allow same day MRIs and follow-ups because the patients aren't coherent. When I told her I'd done it that way for the past six years and if I wasn't coherent, my mom would be coherent for me, since I had to have a driver anyway, she asked why I couldn't do the appointments on two separate days. I tried to explain that A. I have a 45 minute drive one-way from my house to the Clinic and B. Now that they are charging $40 extra every time you set foot on their property, I can't afford more than one visit per year. [Name redacted because it's distinctive] said that it was not her fault about the charges, and anyway, the one-day appointments would be too far apart because MRIs were at 9 or 10 in the morning and then the doctor's appointments were all in the afternoon. I told her that was fine, that's what I always did, which was in my appointment record, which caused her to snap at me that she couldn't read charts.

I asked her to please schedule me for one of those days with a morning MRI and afternoon follow-up, and suddenly the appointments in February and March disappeared and the first thing I could get was April 8th. FINE.

My next call was to the doctor's office, and of course I didn't have his number and had to go by the listing on the Clinic's website, which was for the Neurology Department rather than the Mellen Center. Thankfully, that time I had a real person who cheerfully transferred me.

At the doc's office, I was on hold for a long time, but again I figured they'd had call-offs. When one of the admins answered the phone, I told her that I was out of Lexapro and Neurontin and couldn't get an appointment until April, so could someone please call me about refills? She checked my chart and said, "You requested a refill via e-mail on Monday and we sent it to your pharmacy yesterday." I asked why I hadn't gotten a notification for said refill and she said they don't do notifications any longer (apparently, they expect their patients with memory problems to call the pharmacy until they actually get a refill). At this point, I was upset and frustrated, but managing to hold on to my temper and hold off tears.

My next phone call was to the pharmacy, where I was informed that instead of one month refills on the Lexapro and three month refills on the Neurontin, the doctor's office had gotten it backwards. Oh, yay, time to call the doc again. This time, the tears were a lot closer to the surface, but a different admin swore that they'd call the pharmacy and correct the error.

Right now, I'm afraid to call the pharmacy and check, but I have to admit it will be nice to lie in bed and not have pins and needles in my arms and legs keep me from sleeping, and maybe to be on an even enough keel that I'm not fantasizing about threatening to firebomb a major medical center.

Rain

It finally rained good and hard last night, and supposedly things will cool off now! At least in this house I have air conditioning to get me through the hot days. I've never been very heat-tolerant anyway, but the MS has kicked my heat intolerance up to 11. I was only recently diagnosed when I bought this house, and the whole-house air just seemed like a nice thing to have. Good thing it was here, because it has saved me from misery every summer since!

In my old house, my bedroom was a converted attic and I didn't have AC. My first summer in the house, I tried everything I could think of to be comfortable, including trying to sleep on the floor in front of a fan. All that got me after I'd wrestled the mattress off the bed and set up the fan was Bigfoot curling up on my pillow as if I'd done that just for him. Then when I reclaimed my bed, I got dry eyes and a headache from trying to sleep with the constant airflow. Almost every night in late July and August, I cried myself to sleep because I was so miserable. I do remember one day when it rained going outside and playing in the rain and splashing in puddles while Bigfoot watched me from the windows, convinced I had lost my mind! The next year, Dad gave me Grandpa Arnold's old window unit, and I could at least sleep in cool comfort.

I also remember visiting Disneyland when I was about twelve or so. It rained all day, just a soft drizzle, and it didn't really bother anyone in my family because a January rain in California is much warmer than a January snowfall in Ohio! I did think it was funny that the PA system was playing "It Never Rains" by Albert Hammond as we were leaving.

Thanks to last night's rain, I can harvest my basil and lemon balm without the leaves being all heat-shriveled. Time for pesto! :D

MS Walk 2010, Columbus

Yesterday morning, I got up at O'Kogi Hundred (4:30 a.m., if you don't know what potters' schedules are like), had one cup of coffee, let the dogs out and in and fed them, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and was ready when Mom pulled in the driveway at 5:30. We stopped in Mansfield for coffee and then made it to my brother's house before 8.

Yesterday was my nephew's birthday, but as he told us, he was not officially ten until 4:50. He still got hugged and got a token present from Mom (since he'd already had his real present in the form of a five-day trip to NYC). I hung on to the card and cash I had for him until after the Walk.

The sun was shining, but it was extremely chilly, mostly because the wind was really strong. This was my first time doing the MS Walk in Columbus, and I don't know if it's always at the Zoo, but because of that, everyone needed to get a ticket and a wristband for admission, even those of us who had registered online ahead of time, like Mom and me. I have to say that I was extremely unimpressed with the lack of organization. At the Akron Walk, if you register ahead of time, you just need to drop any cash or check donations and start walking. There's also a marching band and balloons and t-shirts and beads at Akron. I saw people with beads and shirts, but I didn't get either. :( Columbus just had everyone standing in a giant mob in front of the registration table, out in the coooooold wind for thirty to forty-five minutes. Ugh.

The Zoo was very nice, and we took a lot of pictures with the boys and the metal sculptures of various animals. I also made my brother take one of me with a manatee sculpture, what for comparison. ;) We didn't walk the whole loop of the zoo, but we did stroll around for about an hour, and I got to look closely at sleeping flamingos, which was pretty cool.

When we all agreed that we were done with our walk, we went out for breakfast at a place called Marie's Scrambler (I think). I gave my nephew his card and $25 in cash. I had spent a bit of time looking for a good birthday card for him, but I had no idea that the hoops&yoyo card would be such a big hit. When I told him I was giving him cash because I couldn't find any Prince of Persia Lego stuff, he said, "Any Lego would do, Auntie Jammies." I thought that was pretty sweet of him, but now he can buy what makes him happiest. I also printed the Lego version of him with his black belt on heavy card stock so his mom can frame it and hang it in his room.

After breakfast, the Pickypants family headed in for a family nap before the big party. Mom and I headed home, with a stop at Michael's. I got some pretty cotton yarns that were on sale, and in the car, Mom helped me cast off the hot pink washcloth that I was planning to surprise her with on Mother's Day. Instead, I tucked it into her bag and told her I'd find something else for her. As usual, she told me to save my money, but we all know I'm not good at that. On the way home, she drove, I knitted, and when she dropped me off, I let the dogs out and in, and then collapsed into bed for a good long nap.

Thanks to everyone who sponsored Mom and me. And even though Mom thinks the Akron MS Walk is boring, I prefer an animal-less walk and fewer registration hassles, so next year, I'm going local again!

MS Walk 2010

Mom and I are walking together in Columbus this year, along with my brother, sister-in-law and both of my nephews. If you're interested in making a donation, send me an e-mail and I'll send you a link.

Survival

I survived my last day at Hyphenated Corp., despite the fact that one of the attorney editors invited Blondezilla to my goodbye lunch.

Plaid Jammies survived his cataract surgery, and although he is in a lot of pain right now, hopefully all will be well soon.

I will survive job-hunting, as I am going back to work temporarily for Mom while I look.

My neurologist says that I am surviving MS quite nicely, but he wants me to have an MRI before my insurance runs out.

So to sum up:

Three cheers for Flannel Jammies

Today, my mother, whose age I will not disclose lest she kill me, is riding in her tenth Pedal to the Point. She started doing this before I was diagnosed with MS, and I've always been proud of her, but since my diagnosis, I've felt even more invested in her ride.

I do get a giggle out of the fact that every year she says it's her last ride.

Way to go and thank you, Mom.

Bigfoot’s Last Day

Monday, May 11, 2009.

I stayed home from work today to be with Bigfoot and so he didn’t have to spend his last day in a cold concrete basement. I let him sleep in, offered him a breakfast he didn’t want, and made sure to massage behind his ears every time I passed him. The morning was quiet, and I did laundry and archived books, and Bigfoot mostly slept.

Around 10:30, I decided to make the concrete stepping stone with his pawprints, so I got out my bucket, the concrete mix, my letters for imprinting and started. I think I got the concrete mixed correctly, so hopefully it will come out of the mold tomorrow. I let the poured concrete sit for 30 minutes, then put it on a flat pan and carried it into the bedroom, where Bigfoot was sleeping. I picked up one of his paws and placed it in the center of the stepping stone, and Bigfoot woke up and was not at all happy. He pulled his paw out and glared at me. I tried again and this time he got up and left the room, leaving little concrete footprints on the floor.

I picked up the pan, followed him into the kitchen, smoothed out the marks and put the pan in the middle of the floor. I got the pig ears out, and bribed Bigfoot while I tried to make him stand on the concrete. What I have are two blurry impressions that won’t look very much like pawprints to anyone else, but will always remind me of how stubborn and self-willed my darling dog was. Plus, there’s some dog hair embedded in it, so if cloning ever become inexpensive…

After he’d finished his pig ear, I cleaned off his paws and let him go outside to sulk in the sunshine for a while. When he came back in, we both took a nap. I laid down on the floor beside him and rubbed his belly and his ears and told him how much I loved him.

At 4:30, I took a quick shower and put Bigfoot outside. When I was clean and dressed and made up, I let him in and put Littlefoot out, then I put Bigfoot in the car. I let Littlefoot back in and gave him a treat to distract him, then headed out with Bigfoot.

About halfway to the vet’s office, Bigfoot got himself wedged between the back seat and the back of the driver’s seat and couldn’t turn around. I stopped at a gas station and freed him, then went on to the vet hospital.

I took the urn Megan made in with me, intending to leave it and ask the staff to give it to the crematorium guys.






I let Stormdog have a nice long sniff around the yard of the hospital and then took him inside. The two receptionists working tonight were the two I had always gotten along best with, and I got hugs from both of them. Stormdog got Bil-Jac treats, and Missy offered to send the rest of the box home for Littlefoot, but I declined because he’s always on a diet.

Dr. Bob wasn’t in, as he’d had a 103 degree fever since Thursday, but Dr. Mark was there, and I trust him. He and the techs were pumping the stomach of a dog who’d eaten most of a chocolate cake, so Bigfoot had time to sniff around the lobby and I had time to show Ellen and Missy the urn. They recommended I not leave it, but they offered to transfer Bigfoot’s ashes for me if I can’t cope with doing it when they come back from the crematorium. I put Bigfoot on the scale, and his weight was 62.3 pounds. That sounds big, but at his healthiest, he was 80 pounds, so it’s a big weight loss.

Dr. Mark came upstairs and said hello to Bigfoot, then led us into the smaller exam room. He asked if I was okay with doing the shot upstairs rather than down in the surgery, and I was very pleased to avoid the surgery. I described Bigfoot’s recent symptoms, including the lethargy and what seemed to me to be partial paralysis. Dr. Mark said he was pretty sure Bigfoot had canine degenerative myelopathy, which is progressive and incurable. He also said the only good thing about it was that it’s not painful.

I sat on the floor next to my Stormdog and held him across my lap and in my arms. Missy came in and stayed with us as the tech swabbed Bigfoot’s leg with alcohol. I told him over and over how much I loved him as Dr. Mark slid the needle in and depressed the plunger. I laid my cheek on the top of his head and my right hand over his chest and just told him what an amazing, wonderful dog he was until I felt his heart stop. Dr. Mark warned me that there would be a final gasp, and there was. Everyone left the room, and I sat there with Bigfoot in my arms, petting the velvet fur and breathing in his scent. One of the many things I loved about him was that he never smelled bad unless he was soaking wet, and the smell of his fur was always warm and clean. Eventually, Ellen and Missy came in and put him on the stretcher to take him downstairs. I kissed him goodbye for the last time, and came home.

After hugging Littlefoot and letting him know how much I loved him, I got online and looked up CDM. I found one website stating unequivocally that CDM is the canine version of MS, and although Wikipedia was more restrained, it sure looks like it to me. Right to the end, Bigfoot was with me in everything.

Goodbye, darling dog. I will always love you.

Walkyblog*

At 3:30 Saturday morning, I woke up with a migraine. I had about 30 seconds to think, "Couldn't this have waited 24 hours?" before I had to barf. I took a hot shower and half-dozed in my recliner until 6, when the pain was worse but the nausea was better. I had another hot shower, let the dogs in and out, took 2 ibuprofen and tried to drink a little bit of coffee. When that didn't stay down, I gave up and got dressed and just sat quietly until it was time to leave to meet Mom.

I dropped my car off for an oil change and Mom picked me up and we headed for Blossom, where the walk was taking place. We were so early that we managed to walk the 1.25 mile route twice before they officially opened the event. Mom was getting coffee and bagels, and I was taking cautious sips of water and washing down 2 T3s when the DJ from WKDD welcomed everyone and introduced our state representative, who worked with me at Hyphenated Corp. until he got elected. He and Mom have a friend in common, so I introduced them and we talked for a bit. Then the local high school marching band arrived, and Mom and I stayed to listen to one song and then headed out.

The bit I forgot earlier, which I also blame on the drugs:

I try to be a reasonably nice and tactful person, but I blew that when Mom and I were getting into her car. A woman in a minivan had just pulled in to the space next to Mom and was unloading her pre-teen daughter and an adorable and very rambunctious 9- or 10-month old golden retriever puppy. The puppy jumped up on me, and I ruffled his ears and said, "Aren't you a cute boy, but aren't you going to get in trouble for jumping on me?" The woman glared at me and said, "Yes, he is." I apologized for rewarding him for being bad, which was ALSO the wrong thing to say, and she hauled him off with her kid after glaring at me again.

My car was ready, so Mom waited while I stopped in the office and paid the bill, and then I talked her into going to what Sherri calls "Temptations Nursery," which had just opened for the spring/summer season. I made Mom pick out her Mother's Day present, and she chose a beautiful Martha Washington geranium with deep purple petals edged in white. For someone who was awfully reluctant to "waste time" at the nursery, she sure enjoyed looking when we got there!

By then the T3s were kicking in, so we dropped my car off at my house and drove in to the office. We balanced an accounting, I checked the phone messages, went through the mail and did the rest of my weekly stuff, and then Dad came in to install the new printer for the assistants' desk. He also brought me 2 Phenergan to help with the nausea that was still bothering me. By the time Dad was done, we'd been there for 4 hours, and Mom brought me home. I went to bed shortly after letting the dogs out, and Mom washed some more wallpaper paste off walls. I never even heard her leave. I woke up around six with a headache but not a migraine, and was glad to call it a day.

On Sunday, I ran up and down the stairs doing laundry and painted my toenails. The stairs after the walk on Saturday weren't quite enough exercise to keep my muscles from protesting strenuously tonight at water-walking, but I still made it through the whole hour.

*joke that only Zayrina may get.

Yes, for you...

Busy in a good way.

If you were to look objectively at my schedule for the next 90 days, it wouldn't look as if I had a lot of work. I'm responsible for maybe 4 books in the next three months. However, because two of my co-workers are out, I've been picking up the slack on several books that are not on my list, and have been cramming work into my workdays.

I've gotten all kinds of warm appreciation from the attorney editor whose books I'm doing, which is nice. I've also asked my team to let me know if I seem to be having more cognitive lapses than usual. Despite the fact that I have lived with tingling in my hands and feet since September of 2003, my neuro decreed that my GP hadn't given me a high enough dose of Neurontin and I should try it again, slowly increasing the dose until I'm up to 400 mgs/day.

The catch? One of the potential side effects is cognitive problems. I'm trying it because there's an inexpensive generic, but I have to wonder why my neuro is deciding that even though there's nothing he can prescribe for my cognitive problems I need a med for a symptom I've lived with for almost six years.

Speaking of doctors, I went to make my annual appointment with Hot Doctor for my girly parts checkup and found out that he has gone to a different practice. Okay, he's worth following. Then I found out that he is now in practice with the doctor who thought my request for a hysterectomy should be answered with "When you lose weight, you'll be pretty and normal, and you might meet Mr. Right and want to have his babies. I cannot allow you to do this." Aargh. I went ahead and set the appointment, specifically requesting a time when she is NOT there. We'll see. It's been two years, but it still bugs me.

Oh, and a work funny: I made parmesan and basil scones on Sunday and took them into work on Monday. I was walking past the Big Boss's office on my way to the bathroom and heard her say to someone on the phone, "Do you like basil? Jammies just brought in some really delicous scones." *blush* About twenty minutes later, I got an e-mail from a co-worker at the Rochester office saying "I hear you make a mean scone."

My answer? "They're not mean, they're just misunderstood." I kill me.

Ow in a good way

I started a new exercise program last night, and I think it's one I can stick with for a long time. Hyphenated Corp will reimburse employees for a one-year gym or health club membership, so I joined the city natatorium. Last night, I went to my first water walking class, and I'm really impressed. I worked every single muscle in my legs and most of the rest of my muscles, had so much fun and worked so hard the hour just flew by, and got to indulge my waterbaby Cancerian otterish side. I'm now thinking about investing in a more sportish swimsuit. The one I have is cute and flattering, but the tank-style top doesn't restrain my built-in flotation devices as well as a T-strap top would.

A big advantage to the water exercise is that the cognitive effects aren't the only MS-related problems I've been having. When I saw my neuro last month, my balance was so bad after the first few tests that the nurse skipped the final balance test. In the water, if I fall over, I'm not going to hurt myself, so I felt safe in trying everything. I do need to work on my jogging/fast walking, because I noticed last night that the minute I speed up my pace, I start using my toes instead of my whole foot. I think next week I will slow down until hitting heel first is completely habitual and then I will start speeding up. Even if this is the only way I ever jog, that's no reason to get into bad habits!

The only thing I didn't do was quack during one of the exercises. For now, I will save my quacking for when I am among friends.

Sign of the (bad) times

I was one of many folks who were late to work today, owing to a huge traffic tie-up caused by 5,000 people trying to get to a job fair near my office.

Video and story.

Ironically, today was the day my probation at work ended. I've still got to be careful and triple-check everything so that my cognitive problems don't cost me my job, but I do have one.

Shameless begging

Please sponsor me for this year's MS Walk. Flannel Jammies will be walking with me for the first time ever, and while I'm sorry that she won't be in Texas to see Princess Mathgeek turn six, I'm glad we'll have the chance to walk together.

Please let me know if anyone is doing a local MS Walk, and I'll add your fundraising link here if you'd like.