Sunday, May 24, 2009

How to have incredibly smooth yet furry legs

In a warm shower, scrub legs with a clean-rinsing sugar scrub, such as Julphia's Whipped Sugar Scrub or Skindecent's Body Buffer. Rinse well.

Cover legs with shaving cream or bath butter. Shave with a good razor (even if it's not the one you loved for so many years). Rinse again.

Scrub a second time with an oilier scrub, making sure to scrub your heels and toes. Rinse very well.

Finish your shower, and before drying legs completely, smooth on a body glaze, massage bar, dry oil spray or body butter.

Wrap a towel around yourself and run to answer the phone. Tell the siding salesman he's an asshole. Hang up phone, turn around and trip over needy dog in the middle of blowing coat. Ta-da! You now have the smoothest, furriest legs around.

6 comments:

Zayrina said...

Jiffypop kegs, as much fun to make as they are to eat?

Ew.

Zayrina said...

Kegs? KEGS? Good lord I should not post without reading glasses. Legs, you have legs now not kegs, really lovely legs with ankles now. Except for the dog hair.

I'm leaving now.

Romantic Heretic said...

Snicker. I can see that.

P.S. Check your e-mail. There's a present there for you. :)

Sherri said...

Jiffypopbutt has hundreds of uses!

the queen said...

Been meaning to tell you. I have Gorgeous. I am only a little ashamed.

Jammies said...

Zayrina, if you could see how much water I displace with my thighs during certain exercises on Monday and Wednesday nights, you'd not give yourself a hard time for that Freudian typo. ;-)

Rob, will do.

Sherri, yes, he does. Unfortunately, I think he's too old to be edible.

Your Majesty, may I just say, "HA! Hahahahaha!"