Thursday, December 21, 2006

By request

Lush has a message board, and one of the subforums is "Lush P*o*r*n," wherein members post pictures of their Lush stashes. I decided to do something a bit different for my stash thread, and Sherri requested that I share it here so she doesn't have to join the Lush board.

A Lush Fairy Tale

Cast of Characters (in order of appearance):

Peasants: Tisty Tosty
King Frank: Blue Skies
Queen Cosi: The Comforter
Princess Herbaceous: French Kiss
Visiting Princes: Ceridwen, Avobath, Wish Upon A Star
Prince Sonny: Sunny Side
Guards: Wiccy
Ladies in Waiting: Holiday(s)
Gentlemen of the Court: Christmas Kisses(es)
Blob Monster Supervisors: Old Blue Skies
Blob Monsters: Christingly(s)
Mysterious Wise Old Wizard: Amandapondo
Magistrate: Think Pink

Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom named Bathtopia. The peasants were happy in their hovels.

King Frank and Queen Cosi doted upon their beautiful adopted daughter, Princess Herbaceous, who everyone just called “Herbi.”

The Princess was very picky (and more than a little spoiled), and no matter how many eligible young men visited the castle, she turned up her nose at them.

One day, Princess Herbi was out riding her pet dragon.

She met a mysterious young man.

He said he was Prince Sonny, from a neighboring kingdom. Because he hadn’t been paraded in front of her as a possible husband, she liked him, and he seemed to like her too. They started meeting every day on their rides, and soon they fell in love.

When Princess Herbi took Prince Sonny to meet her parents, they were shocked and appalled!

“NO!” said the King and Queen. “You may NOT marry him! Your children will smell disgusting! And they’ll be glittery!”

They sent Prince Sonny away and locked Princess Herbi up with her ladies-in-waiting. Princess Herbi wept and screamed and laid on the floor holding her breath until she turned purple, but the King and the Queen were adamant.

That night, she tried to sneak out of the castle, so her parents sent her away to a remote location guarded by blob monsters.

When Prince Sonny arrived at the castle the next day, the King and the Queen gloated that Princess Herbi was out of reach and had their guard throw him out. He went home and consulted his childhood mentor, the Wise Old Wizard.

The Wise Old Wizard consulted his charts, did a spell, and said he could find Princess Herbi, but Prince Sonny should bring all his friends to fight the blob monsters.

After a long and arduous ride, Prince Sonny, his friends and the Wise Old Wizard arrived at the secret castle where Princess Herbi was held prisoner.

They battled the blob monsters.

There was carnage on both sides.

It was ugly.

But they were victorious!

Princess Herbi flew from the castle into Prince Sonny’s arms.

“Oh, my love, you rescued me!”

“Yes, my precious, and we shall never be separated again!”

Prince Sonny had even brought a magistrate to marry them on the spot.

They returned to Bathtopia, and told the King and the Queen what had happened.

The Queen fainted.

The King yelled.

But eventually, they threw a grand ball to celebrate.

They all lived happily ever after.

Even if Princess Herbi and Prince Sonny did in fact have stinky, glittery children.


Anonymous said...

This is a cry for help.

Jammies said...

Sherri said you wouldn't be amused.


I am.


Anonymous said...

I was amused. I am even more amused that Scott was not amused, just as predicted, which will send him into a tail spinning frenzy of tryig to figure out how not to be predictable without admitting anything about secretly liking the LUSH porn.

These are the things that make my life interesting.

Anonymous said...

I buy soap at the dollar store.

KLN said...

I think you need to win a year's supply of Lush products. Except, you, um, prolly already have that many!

Anonymous said...

Do they do soap on a rope? If so, I'll probably end up getting some... great tale, O Jammies.

Anonymous said...


You got waaay to much time on your hands, sweetie. ;)