Thursday, January 22, 2009

Lyrical snobservations

Dear Brian McKnight,

In regard to:

One
You're like a dream come true
Two
Just wanna be with you
Three
Girl it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me
Four
Repeat steps one through three
Five
Make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start back at one


Those are not steps, you idiot. Those are statements. Go take remedial English.

Dear Everything but the Girl and Norah Jones,

In regard to:

And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain
And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain


and

Like the desert waiting for the rain
Like a school kid waiting for the spring
Im just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on


respectively.

You both fail geology, zoology and biology 101. Deserts do not "miss" or "wait for" rain. In the first place, deserts don't perform any actions, because they are places, not people. Secondly, deserts are full of plants and animals which are perfectly adapted to life with very little water. Rain or any other form of water is utilized, but life goes on without it and without the anticipation of it.

All of you need to go back to high school or hire better songwriters, damnit.

6 comments:

captain crossword said...

You put the ooh mow mow back into my sky child. That is why you are my sugar-diddy dip. YEAH!

Sherri said...

Well, technically, neither places nor things wait -- waiting implies anticipation, knowledge of the passage of time and awareness of change, none of which are usual with your average inanimate, insensate, nonthinking thing. Same goes for missing, because your average nonthinking place or thing neither experiences emotion or throw things with an intent to hit a target.

But mostly all three of those songs, especially the Norah Jones, annoy me. You did not slam their idiocy hard enough. We won't even go into nonsense of John Mellencamp's "And I cannot forget from where it is that I come from" ...

Zayrina said...

Well, and I recall the video was a backward account of a plane crash in a cornfield.

Romantic Heretic said...

I stopped listening to pop radio ages ago. Now I recal why. ;)

Becs said...

I've lost count of the lyrics I've heard that don't make any sense. When I was a kid, I listened to music as if it was the gospel, but I came across too many things that just did not compute.

Jammies said...

Captain C and Becs, deliberate nonsense is one thing. Failing English 101 or Elementary Biology is much more likely to enrage me.

Sherri, I edited my post. People are not things and I don't know why I typed that, but thank you for catching it!

Z, I never saw the video for that song, and now I'm happy I didn't.

Rob, the worst part is that all of these songs have been played on my jazz station of late. *sigh*