Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Okay, the troll thing

Yes, I have referred to myself as "photographing like a troll."

Yes, I sometimes would like to be a troll and hide under my bridge and let the world go by (an occasional tribute of gold would be nice, but no goats, please).

No, this does not mean I go around thinking of myself as ugly and made of stone. It means that I know that I am not photogenic. I can look in the mirror and think I look nice, or good, or some days, even pretty, and then that's not what the camera sees. To me, it is a fact of life. It's also genetic. My paternal grandmother was a bubbly, giggly, loving person who was a flapper in her youth and in her sixties liked to sprawl on the sofa and watch football while keeping her granddaughter from tickling her feet. In all but one picture we have of her, she looks cold and forgiving, and the two trenches on either side of her mouth don't seem to come from smiling as much as she did.

So to some extent, when I use the words "troll" or "trollish" about how I come across on film (or digital media, whichever), I am identifying myself with a woman I'd have loved to get to know as an adult and who left a marvelous legacy.

And I'm also acknowledging my own tendency to retreat from time to time.

That said, apparently the words offend or upset some of my friends, so I shall make a conscious effort not to use them.


Romantic Heretic said...

*HUGS* Jammies.

I tend not to look in mirrors myself. Not because I don't think I'm good looking but because I've seen myself so many times I'm no longer interesting. ;)

Mike from Eerie who photographs troll like as well said...

i worry more about the people who think they do photograph well....

Sherri said...

Well, there's also this little thing that you simply do not look as bad in photographs to the rest of us as you do to yourself. In fact, I've seen several photographs of you. In none of them would the word "Troll" come to mind.

Maybe it's the lack of facial warts or hair, no green skin, and no tusks. (tic tacs do NOT count).

It's not even love shading the photos. I saw a photo of you before I loved you, and I didn't even get close to thinking 'troll'.

On the other hand, you think I'm some sort of photo diva, and yet in all but perhaps 4 photos taken since I was three, I think I look pretty doggone scare. Not quite trollish, but, yeah, I could do a haunted house without much makeup...

But no one else really seems to mind.