Architecture. I has some.

For all the friends who have been gently pushing me in the direction of buying new bras--I have four. They all fit, although the blue one gives me pointy '80s Madonna boobs (which will hopefully get smooshed down a bit under my royal blue dress). I also got a chocolate brown tankini swimsuit, my first in 20 years, a dark brown pareo and two pairs of pants for the cruise.

Both jobs have been too nuts for me to get actually excited about the cruise. I've spent more time worrying about being ready to go than excited that I am going. But I do have a good idea of what I'm taking, and I'll probably get excited the day before.

Oh, and as for today's small bowel follow-through, anyone who mentions barium to me ever again may just deal with me throwing up on them. Bleargh. Results on Valentine's Day, lucky me.

Thanks, Zayrina

Really funny

A blog entry about cat butt from Johnny Virgil.

My odd little world

In answer to a question from Mike:

A notasheep is any white fleecy dog toy that does not have a face. Similarly, any green fleecy toy is a notafrog, pink is a notapiggie and so on. This stems from my heartbreak and guilt over the undead stuffed piggie.

In answer to the question my few readers are now asking:

The undead stuffed piggie incident occurred about two years ago, when, in a moment of weakness, I bought a set of four cutely-shaped fleece dog toys. For some unknown reason, the 'Foots ate the face off the piggie first. For a week, every time I saw the pig, it reproached me with its facelessness and increasingly torn condition. I felt as if it were haunting me, even after it had been reduced to piggie atoms too small for even the 'Foots to consider playing with. That was when I vowed not to ever again give my dogs a toy with a face. Mallie understands my guilt and my vow, and she carefully sends formless, guilt-free toys to the dogs, bless her.

My odd little train of thought this morning:

I slowed to let an Audi A4 in front of me on the freeway this morning, and noticed the personalized plate was "LOL." This led me to think of lolcats. Then I thought of the four lolcats I created yesterday and Becs' clever comment about how two of them (now three) are AWOLOLcats. When I think of Becs, I think of ISB numbers, upon which her household depends. That in turn reminded me that I hadn't put the new ISB number in the front matter of the book I'm doing.

So LOLcats helped me do something at work I might otherwise have missed.

I suck at titles

Really. Every time I do a post here, the hardest part is naming it. Probably a good thing I never had kids.

Today was pretty good. One of the things the surgeon told me in addition to cutting down on the number of salads I eat was to slow the heck down and not gulp my lunch. So today I used my lunchtime to eat slowly and make lolcats:

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?SudokuCatisw128450616415071250.jpg

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?Diningroomcat128450614816946250.jpg

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?WashingMachine128450620015071250.jpg

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?TVCatiswatc128450618548352500.jpg

They won't mean much if you haven't seen the original Ceiling Cat.

Of course, when it was not lunchtime, I did actual work-type work and surfed a bit while various processes ran.

When I came home, my reward for taking two weeks' worth of trash out to the curb was two packages, Lush stuff from swaps/CPs and a get-well card signed by my five year-old nephew. Awwwwww.

Small time period, big changes

Today was an easy day to go back to work. I had about an hour of administrative stuff to do first thing, then an hour of training, then an hour-long team meeting, then a ninety-minute team lunch, then spent the afternoon coding inserts for my next book. Lots of folks stopped by to welcome me back and ask how I was doing, and Maresche got me a lovely set of jammies and some adorable Valentine's Day socks. The only sad note was that the young man who had been running the mailroom for us got fired on Friday.

Everyone who wants to work at Hyphenated Corp. has to take a drug test. Mailguy didn't get around to taking his until after the scheduled deadline (and all new hires are informed of the deadline before they start). I'm sure he passed, but because he waited too long, he was fired. I'm told he cried, and said how much he would miss everyone, and I know we will all miss him. When I got home today, there was a get-well card from everyone at work, and he had signed it. *sigh*

Bigfoot is bonking around the house knocking things over and bruising me at every opportunity. I've had to make special arrangements for the food and water dishes since the Collar of Shame makes it impossible for him to eat from the doggie "table" on the breezeway. He was very upset with me last night, as the doctor had said no dinner until 7 p.m. and of course he hadn't had breakfast because of the anesthesia. He was drama-queening all over the house, sighing, flopping, leaning against me so I could feel his ribs. He's still unhappy with the CoS, but he's in a better mood because he gets to eat, and he manages to jump up onto my bed for his many naps, so his life isn't that bad. Nine more days until the sutures come out.

The Hound of Heck is Home

and engaging in psychological and guerilla warfare against me. He's whining in a most guilt-inducing fashion and banging the Collar of Shame (big giant cone style) against anything that might be breakable (objects) or bruisable (me).

Nonetheless, I am happy to report that his ear has been successfully lanced, his bloodwork is "great for a dog of any age, let alone one who's fourteen" and at least he's home.

I'm not quite so happy about the fact that I am three hundred dollars poorer.

Hello, Clarice

Yesterday, Mom and I went to the Mellen Center for my annual MRI and neurologist's visit. I got some lovely Xanax before the test, and while it was taking effect, had a long talk with the nurse about the bariatric surgery, why I decided on it, what changes it has made, what changes I have had to make and how much weight I've lost.

When I was on the table and the tech put the cage down over my face, I giggled and said in what I'm sure was a hideous attempt at Hannibal Lecter's voice, "Hello, Clarice." Fortunately, I don't remember a whole lot more about the MRI, other than that the tech and the nurse had a hard time finding a spot to hook up the contrast IV because most of my arm and hand veins were blown from my hospital stay.

Mom and I then had a nice lunch in downtown Cleveland, took a look through Ten Thousand Villages (which is where I found the perfect Christmas gift for Bookworm Mathgeek last November) and then went back for my appointment.

Despite having been off the Copaxone for nine months in 2007, I have no new lesions, and I passed all the push this/pull that/hop on one foot tests at about the same level as last year. The doc and NP agreed that I probably had a mild exacerbation in December when the tingling got so bad, but since the choices would have been to suck it up or do a course of IV solumedrol, I wasn't out of line for not calling. Doc gave me a letter to take on the airline with my syringes (for the cruise next month), and that was it.

Today, I'm home doing gross sinus infectiony things and waiting to hear about Bigfoot, whom I dropped off at the vet's this morning for bloodwork and surgery on the ear hematoma. Hopefully, he'll come through as well this time as he did from the last surgery.

Ewww, ick.

Lucky me, I got to spend Thursday night through this morning in the hospital. I had a small bowel obstruction. Icky stuff follows, so the weak of tummy should just close the browser knowing I am home and fine.

I came home from work on Thursday with what I thought was just bad gas pain. When my usual remedies (heating pad, hot bath, Gas-X) didn't work and the pain got worse, I wound up calling for ambulance transport to the ER. After assorted pokings, proddings and questions, I was given contrast matter to drink, some Dilaudid for the pain, X-rays and CT scans. When the doctors determined that I did in fact have a small bowel obstruction, I was admitted and given a naso-gastric tube (as Zayrina says, up the nose and down the throat) and then sent off to a room.

One note on the ER visit--mostly, the staff was competent and thoughtful. There was one nurse, however, who was a complete shit to me. I had a hard time keeping the contrast down, and had vomited up a fair amount of bile. My mother, who stayed with me practically the whole time, had been back and forth with basins for me, but at one point one of them overflowed onto the floor. When the nurses came in to insert the n-g tube, the jerk stepped in some of the bile, and finding out what it was, he had a mini-meltdown about getting it off his new shoes. He was then very patronizing to me, and verbally rough when it came time to get the tube down me. Fortunately, I didn't have to see him at all again after that.

The nurses and techs on the floor were great, the surgeon I saw was very good at actually listening to me, and once I'd had a bowel movement and promised to make the earliest possible appointment for a series of X-rays with barium, agreed to let me come home. Zayrina called frequently and posted about my situation on the Lush message board. My Lushie forum friends were sweet as can be. MaryMargrt sent her mom over with a flower, KellyGirl stopped in for a visit and brought more flowers, several people called, and there was a 12 page thread full of warm thoughts and good wishes for me to read and tear up over when I got home. Mallie called and helped cheer me up, and so did both of my brothers. Amy was an absolute godsend in taking care of the puppymonsters and my house and even sent her hubby to pick me up from the hospital.

This week is going to be interesting--tomorrow, I have my 30,000 mile lube/tune-up/MRI at the Cleveland Clinic, Tuesday is Bigfoot's surgery, Wednesday is training in a new process at work, and at some point I have to have the all-day X-rays to find out exactly where the adhesions are and if they are going to require future surgery or possibly just a change of diet and awareness of onset symptoms.

My warmest thanks for everyone who has been so supportive through all of this.

Step 1: Admit you have a problem

I have way too many sets of jammies.

Ear update

Bigfoot is scheduled for bloodwork, anesthesia and surgery next Tuesday, the fifteenth (the vet's office will call me if there is a cancellation this week).

He's sleeping on top of his notasheep right now. He looks adorable.

Hematomatoes and cauliflower ears

My very first post in this blog was about Bigfoot's right ear. I went through about two weeks of worry, relief, worry, laughter, relief and finally he was okay.

He's apparently decided that he needs two cauliflower ears, because he's got a hematomato* on his right ear. There is some cosmic force that causes animals to get sick/have problems on Sunday nights when the choice is between the very spendy emergency vet hospital and an overcrowded veterinarian's office on Monday morning. I made an attempt to lance the hematoma myself, and couldn't manage it. I'm too soft-hearted to hold him still enough to get a syringe in deeply enough. I managed to make one hell of a mess and stick myself on the thumb before I gave up. I'll call the vet first thing in the morning and see when they can get him in and what I'll have to give up in the way of new clothes to pay for it.

*A very irritating veterinarian I saw once when Bigfoot was a puppy used "hematomato" in all seriousness instead of "hematoma." I thought it was funny and I tend to use it instead of the correct word.

Everything I didn't need to know, I learned at Lush

The forum, specifically. I was not aware until I read a post there that as a teenager Anne Perry had been convicted of helping a friend kill the friend's mother.

I've enjoyed her books for years without knowing this. When I mentioned it to Mom, she was appalled and immediately said I should stop reading/buying Perry's books.

On the one hand, I do see her point. This person helped commit a truly horrible crime--why should she have a nice life with big fat profits? On the other hand, I'm sure that one person not buying her books is going to change her lifestyle one iota, and she has served her time and possibly is truly remorseful.

Right now, I'm re-reading my way through all of the Perry novels I have, and wondering if that will help me make up my mind.

Thanks, girls

Someone over on the Cyber SoapBox posted a link to a story about a 6 year old girl who wrote an essay about her father dying in Iraq. The little girl's essay won her tickets to a sold-out Hannah Montana show. Only problem is, the story wasn't true and her mother helped her write it.

Now 6 year olds are often creative storytellers. I certainly was at that age. But for her mother to connive at this and possibly instigate it just to win concert tickets? That's pretty devastating to my general faith in humanity. I wish there were a way to punish the mom without penalizing the daughter, but sadly, there isn't. The prize was withdrawn.

I was depressed by that story, but then I found an antidote in a local story. Three Akron-area girls gave up their tickets to the local Hannah Montana show and another girl gave $100 for souvenirs. My thanks to all four girls for restoring my faith in people.

Merry Christmas and I hope you choke on it!

Some asshole stole the box of presents I mailed to my friend Rogue. Even as I'm preparing a new box, I am just livid at the thought of someone stealing at a time of year that's supposed to be about love and caring. Especially stealing from someone who is one of the most thoughtful, generous, gentle people I know.

Last year, Mallie & Scarecrow gave me a joke Grow-Your-Own-Voodoo-Doll kit. I felt uncomfortable having it in the house and have nearly given it away several times. I don't think it's going to hurt anyone or anything, I just don't like the spirit of wishing harm to someone else that even an unreal and lighthearted voodoo doll seems to represent.

Tonight, however, I could cheerfully use it on whoever stole that box. I need to calm down so that all of this anger doesn't wind up in Rogue's replacement box (which I am sending signature required, even if that does mean locking the barn door, etc.).

Oh, and would the Canadians please check in and let me know if you all got your presents? I'm a bit worried now...

The things you learn on a soap forum...

I'm about the last person most people would associate with anything punk, but today I discovered I'm a huge fan of steampunk. Until today, I didn't know what it is. Then someone mentioned it on the Lush message board, and I looked it up and thought, "Oh, yeah, I love that!"

Having finished "The House that Jack Built" by Robert Asprin and , I'm currently re-reading Mercedes Lackey's novel "The Serpent's Shadow." Both Asprin's Time Scout series and Lackey's Elemental Masters series qualify as steampunk, so it was easy for me to recognize my affinity for the genre.

If there's a lifestyle as well, I'd be happy to sign up. I'm doing some serious drooling over Datamancer's keyboards and other goodies. In addition, I have a secret liking for Victorian-style corsets. Just because I can't afford any of this stuff doesn't mean I don't want all of it.

Happy Soxing Day!

Forget Boxing Day, today is Soxing Day, wherein I put away all the lovely socks I got for Christmas and all my other Christmas loot. I was certainly blessed with lots of goodies this year, including eight pairs of socks. My gifts were fairly successful as well. Apparently, my niece put on her blue princess dress first thing and wore it all day long.

I'm not usually a day after Christmas shopper, but Lush was having a buy one get one or two free promo today, so I met Maresche at the store at 8 a.m., and then got a tour of her house and a chance to meet one of her cats (the notshy tiger one) and watch mini-Maresche be adorable (she even sat on my lap for a bit, such a cutie).

Because I've been short on sleep, I came home, ate a quick lunch and crashed for two hours. When I woke up, I called Doc because we'd made tentative plans for her to stop by so we could exchange Christmas gifts. She said she and her mom were out shopping and could come by in about an hour.

I did a flying tidy-up, and at the very last minute, put away the Willie molds that were sitting in the dish drainer. I was laughing to myself at the fact that I'd almost forgotten they were there! Then when they got here, turns out that Doc's mom was hurting too badly from sciatica to do anything but sit in the car and wait patiently for us. So we didn't have a chance to talk, but we did open presents and say thanks, and Doc absolutely made my day.

Back in July, I'd loaned her my copy of Small Gods. She read it and liked it so much she bought her own copy and one as a gift for a colleague. That's another notch on my enabler belt, and one that I'm awfully damn proud of.

Just call me a disciple of the Small Gods.

Feetgasms

Seriously--Mallie got me some ultrasoft moisturizing socks (Jammies brand socks, no less) and Rogue got me some similar socks, and despite repeated washings, they feel so soft my feet have little feetgasms every time I put them on.

In addition, Jay picked out a pair of Christmas socks that are too freaking cute to be believed. There will be pictures later on, but for now, I will just say that they have jingle bells on them, and even Her Majesty has nothing like them in her vast sock gallery. I rule the sock world!

"Christmas Every Day"

by William Dean Howells. It's a really neat story, and I had forgotten about it until Vegan Lawyer mentioned it Thursday night at dinner. I dug out the ancient anthology in which I have the story, re-read it, and am taking it to Pickypants manor with me on Tuesday.

I am also taking shrimp thingies, brownies, cheddar & port wine spread and lots of presents. Today I got my work for Mom and my shopping done, so tomorrow I can bake and cook and wrap presents and load the car. I feel very festive!

To all of my friends, whatever holidays you celebrate, may they be joyful.

2008 looks good

Small-minded and petty, but we got the 2008 holiday schedule for work, and I have 2 personal days, 6 sick days, 10 company holidays and 15 vacation days. That means JammiesFest 2008 can take as long as it takes (tentatively scheduled for July 10th-15th, so mark your calendars), I can go on the family cruise and I will still have some time to take around the holidays.

Plus, it's the year Shrub becomes a lame duck, so what's not to like? Oh, and Erin has promised me a plethora of Toehawk Sock Zombies to choose from when a co-worker and I are ready to order. How cool is that?

And I'm not making a single damn resolution, either. Yup, I'm looking forward to 2008.

Blech, another decision

Becs is right. Some people are Dementors. About three years ago, someone I'd been friends with for more than a decade took the last steps into Dementorhood, and I have to admit to being relieved when she moved out of state in 2005 and I could let the connection lapse.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the romantic relationship for which she relocated didn't work out, and she's back in the area. Today, she left a message on my answering machine and her phone number, and I have to decide whether or not to call her.

Where exactly does loyalty to an old friend cross the line of self-preservation?

*sigh*

I wish I knew.

Decision Time

Since I will have limited space on the cruise, I need to pick one daytime and one evening scent for bath & body products.

The contenders are:

Daytime:

IoE Frozen Lilac Posy (very soft lilac) 1 vote
Skindecent Treefrog Jammies (piney green notes with lavender) 2 votes
Julphia Snow Angel (white tea with a hint of mint) with BPAL Snow Storm 2 votes

Evening:

Skindecent Pink Carnation with BPAL Pink Moon '07 3 votes
Julphia Sandalwood Vanilla 2 votes
Skindecent Sweet Seduction (white musk, white sugar) 0 votes

More silliness

My elf name is Wacky Spirit-Fingers.

Such a surprise! (not)

Courtesy of my lovely Lioness:

Your Score: The Otter

You scored 46% domestic, 57% gregarious, 64% trickster, and 23% intellect!

Wild, Gregarious, Emotional Trickster: you are the Otter! Playful, capricious, active. Otter people are often very lighthearted, playful people who are naturally joyful. During rough times, otter people are often optimistic and are masters in finding the humor in even the worst situations. Otter medicine teaches the value of laughter, play, and feminine wisdom.

This test categorized you based on four different axes of personality, which were then associated with a different animal. The four axes, as well as all possible results are explained below.

Wild/Domestic: This first axis categorizes you based on how much you are drawn to the outdoors, versus how much you are drawn to civilized situations. Domesticity has many shapes and forms, and varies from the joy of dolphins leaping next to a ship to the steadfast loyalty of a family dog.

Gregarious/Solitary: This axis measures how solitary you are. If you scored high, it means that you enjoy the company of other people, while a low score indicates that you prefer a more solitary lifestyle.

Trickster/Serious: This axis measures how well you line up with conventional trickster archetypes. People who fall into this archetype have a sense of humor and an excitable, highly chaotic streak. Scoring low doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of humor; it just means that you probably don't think dynamite is very funny.

Intellectual/Emotional: This last axis determines whether you are more emotional -- acting based on feelings and instinct, or rational and intelectual -- acting more on thought than on your gut feelings.

Talk about internet virii!

Last night, a friend in Australia sent me a Yahoo message just to tell me about his miserable head cold.

Today, I have a miserable head cold.

Clearly, ZoneAlarm is ineffective.

Did I mention I'm miserable?

Say what?

A long time ago, a friend said to me, "You wouldn't say shit if your mouth was full of it."

Maybe so, but I certainly said it today, and quite loudly. I went and put in my time for Bosstopus, then stopped at the warehouse store (BJ's) on my way home. It's too damn close to a mall for comfort, and all of the holiday shoppers were in a festive, obnoxious, selfish mood. My nerves were fairly frayed by the time I got there, but I calmed down with the acquisition of three tins of Harmony Bay Autumn Spice coffee and all the other goodies I'd gone to get.

As I was in the checkout line unloading stuff onto the conveyor, the cashier started it up after it had been still for a minute or two. Unfortunately, it startled me when that happened. Disastrously, I had a 22 oz. jar candle in each hand, and both of them went flying. Glass shattered everywhere, I yelled "SHIT!" and everyone looked at me. Sadly, a hole in the floor failed to open, and I was forced to load the rest of my items on the once-more-paused conveyor, pay for my stuff, and do the Modified Walk of Shame to the car.

I hope Goldilocks likes her damn candles, that's all I have to say! :P

I love jammies. Love, love, love jammies.

Totally gave me a giggle yesterday when a co-worker said that. Then I had to explain why I was giggling. I'm enjoying this month of peace and quiet and preparation for next year. In 2008, I will be responsible for 22 books, and I plan to do each one well. Of course, nobody plans to screw up, lol, so we shall see.

On Monday, Scary Boss Lady brought in lunch for everyone, and it was quite a spread. Actually, I'm getting to the point where she's not so scary and just the boss now. She and I had talked briefly about the painted pointsettias being sold at Home Depot. They're white pointsettias with the white leaves/petals painted blue or lavender and covered in glitter, and for some reason, I immediately thought of BL when I saw them. She had seen them too, and hadn't bought one because she already has plenty of houseplants. Sounds familiar to me! I decided that as a thank-you for the wonderful lunch, I would get one for her. This morning, I set it on her desk, along with a thank you note, and she came over to my cube specifically to say how thoughtful it was.

Afterwards, of course, I was second-guessing myself and wondering if I was being a suckup, but if I am, I am. *shrug* It makes me happy to make other people happy and that's the whole point of this season.

We also had a dessert reception and cookie contest today. I took about two dozen of my homemade coconut macaroons just to have an excuse to make them. They did turn out ugly but yummy as always. Maresche made two big sugar cookies shaped like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story and marked "Fragile." One co-worker made gingerbread cookies and hung them on a tree using red licorice whips. There were oatmeal scotchies, Cookie Monster cookies, caramel crumb bars, raspberry almond spice cookies and all sorts of delicacies. What won? Mostly blandness. First prize went to banana-walnut cookies, which I didn't try and were probably very good given that I love banana bread. But second and third place went to spritz cookies and sugar cookies of all things. Sheesh. Bo-RING.

And now that I have the snark out of my system, I will say that it was a nice break and a chance to make macaroons and hang around chatting with my co-workers. And all of the leftover macaroons are going to my folks' house rather than coming home with me!

The best-laid plans of mice and men

(and Jammieses) gang aft agley. It was nice to wake up without the alarm this morning, and nice to not have to swing immediately into headless chicken mode. It was also nice to have a leisurely shower and time to get dressed without rushing.

Unfortunately, the niceness of my day ended as soon as I got to my mechanic's. He was actually out of oil and couldn't change the oil in my car. Rather than go home and upset the dogs by turning around and leaving again in less than an hour, I opted to go get my shopping done. I just finished reading A Year Without Made in China, and it's made me a bit more conscious of labels. I wound up with a glass bowl made in Turkey, holiday cards made in the U.S., two beautiful water glasses made in the U.S., wrapping paper made in Thailand and socks made in Indonesia. I certainly am not boycotting all Chinese-made items, but I like the idea of spreading my money around the globe a bit. Thank goodness my bath product addiction is satisfied with items made in Canada or the U.S.!

After the shopping, I got a haircut, and then went to the dentist, where the niceness was further worn off my day. My dentist is no longer with the group, and now I have to get used to a new one, who will no doubt leave as soon as she has the money to open her own practice. She lectured me about my failure to use Listerine, ick, and Sensodyne, double ick, but said that the X-rays and exam were fine.

Then I came home and waited excitedly for the electrician to arrive to install my kitchen and hall light fixtures. The appointment time was for "after three" and when no one had shown up or called by 4:15, I called the company. The person I spoke with hadn't heard of me, my name wasn't on the schedule, and the woman I did talk to was gone for the day and nobody had a way to reach her. The last bit bothers me the least--I wouldn't want them calling her at home and ruining her evening, too.

So now I am here with my new light fixtures in the kitchen getting in the way, worrying about whether or not I did actually call Thompson Electric last week and make an appointment for today or if I'm just losing my mind. Ugh.

Oh, and just to add the frosting onto the Cupcake of Doom, the artificial Christmas tree in the garage which I was planning to use instead of buying a real tree this year is a falling-apart POS that should have been thrown out years ago. *sigh*

To the driver of the olive-green SUV:

This time of year, traffic seems to be worse and drivers seem to be meaner and less forgiving. I don't know if it's the early darkness, holiday stress, end-of-year crunch time or what, but it's evident in my evening commute home.

That being the case, thank you for paying attention so that even though my left turn signal is burnt out, you noticed I needed to get over and moved over to make room. Thank you for slowing at the next on-ramp to allow those people onto the expressway, and thank you for moving over a lane when the slower of the two continued to hesitate.

The more we pay attention to others and try to improve even little things, the better the world gets. Thank you very much.

A new personal record!

I managed to get lost not once but twice on the way home from PickyPants Manor. The first time, I lost ten minutes by getting turned the wrong way in their development and not realizing I'd come out on the wrong road until I hit downtown Powell. The second time, I took the truck driveway into the Flying J plaza and lost five minutes driving around to see if it connected to the auto part of the parking lot/gas pumps, realizing it didn't, and exiting and re-entering.

Still, it was a great day. I left the house early, stopped at Home Depot and bought a new space heater for the breezeway, then had a smooth, if boring, drive to Columbus. We had a nice lunch, then the boys and I built their gingerbread trees, we played a game of Uno, Anabel and I discussed the menu for Christmas dinner, and I headed home.

Despite losing some time due to my own idiocy, only the last fifteen minutes of my drive were in the dark, and none of it on 71. I did see a deer barely a heartbeat outside of the Akron city limits, and was glad I had braked because I was going down a hill. I've never seen one that close to the actual city before, and I hope it was just chance and not because there are even more of the poor things starving to death in the Valley.

Of course, feeling sorry for the deer lasts only as long as they aren't in my yard eating my flowers. Then they're just pests.

Oh, and today's Christmas socks were bright kelly green, with ornaments in red and gold on them.

Sweaters and parkas and socks, oh my!

Sweaters: Bookworm Mathgeek and one of her friends are both ahead of me in weight loss, so I am getting lovely presents as they ingrow things. In fact, one day a while back, from the waist up I was entirely dressed in things Bookworm had given me--two sweaters, earrings and headbands.

Parkas: Well, actually, it's a stadium jacket. I've been drooling over this particular jacket (in chocolate) for a while. I've ingrown both my denim jacket and my fleece reversible coat, but as much as I wanted this one, it was out of my price range. Then, on Thursday, a catalog arrived with a 50% off one item coupon on the cover, and Bosstopus agreed to buy the jacket instead of giving me a cash bonus for Christmas. Today at work, I called and ordered it, and it should be here by late next week. Bosstopus and I also had a very productive morning, a nice lunch, and good luck shopping at Borders. I am now DONE with my holiday shopping. Hooray!

Socks, oh my! On Friday, there was no heat at Hyphenated Corp. Apparently, sending people home because there is no heat is something that just doesn't happen. People who had vacation/sick/personal hours to burn took the time, others left early, and some of us just stayed and worked with blue fingernails. It did actually warm up a bit in the afternoon simply due to the presence of bodies generating heat, but never reached what anyone sane would call "warm."

Because it was a bit of a slow and purposeless day, Galahad brought the tape of his two appearances on Jeopardy in 1988. Most of the team trooped down to the basement meeting area to watch, and we had a lot of fun watching the show, playing along, and laughing at the commercials. So where, you ask, are the socks?

I had worn my black flats that day, with my red socks with reindeer faces printed on them and reindeer head pompoms on the back. Tigger admired them, and I rashly stated that I have enough pairs of Christmas socks to wear every work day between now and December 25th, upon which she challenged me to do so. If I remember, I shall post in my blog which holiday socks I wear each work day.

Super Enabler

In the world of bath product fan/addicts/fanatics, "enabling" simply means to get someone else interested/intrigued/addicted to a particular scent or brand. I've done most of my enabling to Skindecent. Mallie, Maresche, Doc, Amy and Vintage Girl are all hooked on assorted products or scents from this truly amazing company. Second is Julphia, to which I have lured KellyGirl, Vintage Girl and MaryMargrt. By the end of 2007, I hope to have my Super Enabler cape, decoder ring and merit badge.

A while back, I did a swap with someone and got my paws on a lovely perfume (Autumn Romance) from Patrician Treasures. I wore it to work one day, and Blondezilla went absolutely Librarian-poo over it. I sent her the link to the website, and about fifteen minutes later, got this wistful little e-mail saying, "There's so many scents! How do you choose?" Bwahahahaha! You get one of everything that sounds good, of course!

Long day

The first real snow has hit, and my commute in this morning took forever. I don't mind the time in the car, because I can think and plot and plan and dream. However, an hour in a toasty warm car that is largely stationary makes me want to go to sleep. Shortly after I got to work, the power went off--construction crews working on a new building up the street hit a power cable.

The lack of electricity didn't affect my plans for the morning, as Galahad and I were planning to use the morning to put away books anyway. Yesterday afternoon, we got most of the books sorted and arranged on shelves, and we reserved this morning for all the Massachusetts books. Once that had been done, it was time to order lunch from Aladdin's (yum), and then go get it.

All in all, a very nice, quiet day.

*whew*

Today was my quarterly review. I still have a job, I have some things I need to improve, and in 2008, I will be responsible for all analytical material for the state of Kentucky. I'm also now the team librarian.

I had very weird dreams on Saturday when I napped, or one long weird dream involving (in order): rock concerts, Britney Spears, Jack Black, Jon Bon Jovi, a zoo, the seaside, singing, Egypt, facing down Set, killing a bad guy and spiders. I'd blame it on work anxiety, but it's more likely that Lush lavender gives me odd dreams.

My guest bedroom is full of boxes, each labeled with a name and filled with presents. I'm waiting for an order from Skindecent so I can tuck the last few items in, and then I will be ready to mail out most of my Christmas presents. The rest will be personally delivered when I go to Pickypants Manor for Christmas Day, to work friends at work, or to my friends Amy & Doc whenever I can lure them over here.

All in all, I'm feeling that this particular Monday could have been much worse.

Well, I thought it was funny

From the Lush forum. The task was to write a personal ad, five lines or less. Here's mine:

For the discriminating gentleman who appreciates vintage items. 1965 wide-body model free to right buyer. Runs well on chocolate, compliments and exotic bath products. Most original factory equipment still installed. Minimal rust and dings, upholstery shows some wear-and-tear, tailpipe and other systems clean.

So now what do I do?

The big push at Hyphenated Corp. is over. If it's going out this year, it's at Manufacturing by now. Today I cleaned up the administrative details from the two-volume book and four CDs I did this week, and then took a bit of sick time to try to recover from the cold which hit me Wednesday night.

I am anxious, though, about what I will do from now on. What if they fire me because there isn't any work for me? That may be an irrational fear, but it's how my mind works.

Oh, and to Becs: if you can't bitch, whine, moan & worry in your blog, where can you do it?

I hab a code id by dose

Plus sneezing, an itchy face and itchy eyeballs. Yesterday, I worked nine hours, fought my way home, took two benadryl, had a minty bath, took four more benadryl and went to bed. I woke up around 11 in mid-asthma attack (my first in over two years) and eventually went back to bed clutching my inhaler like a teddy bear.

This morning, I got up early, went to Giant Eagle and picked up our lunch, had a terrible time checking out and went to work. Lunch went over well. I received thank-you e-mails from the women on the team, and Blondezilla asked if I minded if she made a sandwich. Mind you, she asked with her mouth full of Swiss cheese from the tray, but she did ask.

My new book was built, and next year, it will not be a new book, so if I am still at Hyphenated Corp, it will be easier. Soon I will find out what jurisdiction(s) will be my responsibility in 2008, and what the job of team librarian entails.

Right now, I want another bath and another early bedtime.

Easy gift-giving

Apparently, my team doesn't do any sort of present exchange for the holiday season. I decided that as I don't know anyone that well, I'm not going to even try for minigifts this year.

Instead, since tomorrow is the big "Everything has to be to Manufacturing" day, I am bringing a "picnic lunch" consisting of a meat & cheese tray, a veggie tray, pasta salad and cookies. Nobody has to go out and get lunch or worry about packing, they can all just nibble when they have a moment for a break.

Maybe next year I will know everyone better and feel comfortable picking out minigifts, but this year, I'm doing it the easy way.

Fragments

I have moved my Paypal and (hopefully) my direct deposit to my new checking account at my credit union. The minute I'm sure my paycheck is going into the new account and that all outstanding checks have cleared, I'm closing the account with Big Box Bank and saying good riddance.

When I told Mom about yesterday's irritation with Blondezilla and the reason for the collection, she said, "Get me an address. I'm going to mail that family a contribution of my own." Sometimes I just love her so much I could burst.

The L'Hermittes is still active. I frequently feel as if someone injected large amounts of a carbonated beverage under my skin and I don't enjoy it.

Bigfoot's tail continues to get furrier and appears to be fully healed. One of these days, I will forgive him for scaring me half to death.

Given the amount of work involved with the new book, I'm really glad the other one got built last Wednesday. Still, having a three-day weekend made me long for a week off instead of re-energizing me.

Damn, my life is boring--thanks to the two or three people who made it this far.

General growliness

I don't mind when the senior editor check on my book turns up stuff I've missed--that's what it's for. I do mind, rather fervently, when people then check on me all damn day to see if I've fixed it yet!

A very sad thing happened right before Thanksgiving. One of the cleaners who worked in our office building was hit by a car and is not expected to live. She has five children between the ages of one and fifteen, and so there was a drive posted to buy grocery store gift cards for the family. I contributed the amount I had set aside to buy BPAL perfumes. I figure that was money that's better spent as a contribution, and I can still save up and get my goodies later. Today, Blondezilla came and offered me my check back, announcing that I gave too much because most people just contributed fifteen or twenty dollars. I turned her down politely, but after she left, I couldn't help but seethe. What difference does it make what other people give? My contribution was what I could afford and wanted to give.

Grrr.

Profundity

This was going to be a thoughtful Sunday night post about something philosophical.

Then I got on the scale.

I've lost one hundred fifty pounds since July 6th, 2006.

I'm too giddy to be philosophical.

*squeeeeeeeee*

So this is Christmas...

That's one of the few John Lennon songs I actually like. Jimmy Buffett's version has been playing as I de-filthify Casa de Jammies in preparation for a decorating orgy tomorrow. I haven't been a Christian for a long time, in fact I haven't been anything religious for a long time. But I like the idea that once a year, it's okay to have silly, gaudy decorations all over your house, and to spend your time thinking about what you can give to others to make their faces light up, and to celebrate that yes, it's the darkest time of the year, but hey, the sun's gonna come back.

*grin* Given that I just had sausage gravy for lunch, maybe what I'm really celebrating is Hogswatch. That's okay too.

Happy holidays, my friends, whatever you may or may not celebrate, I promise that the sun will come back.

Didn't even buy anything and I got stuff!

That's the best kind of Black Friday. *grin* Several packages arrived today and the poor sub mail carrier staggered down my driveway under the load. Alessia the lovely returned some books, my friend Mickey Mouse sent my Christmas pressies early, my final package from two group orders with Lisabella arrived, and my box from Julphia arrived.

Thanks to an embarrassing incident two years ago, I know not to post anything I bought as a Christmas present in my journal. However, I will say that Megan was over-generous as always with the samples, and I've fallen absolutely in love with two of the scents and very much in like with a third.

Also, in the box from Lisabella was the second ingredient I've been waiting for in order to do more mad-scientisty things, so that's on the agenda for tonight. I wonder which dog I should re-name Igor?

Mad Scientist time

Lately, I've been playing around with making my own sugar scrubs. At first, I was just taking bath creams from various e-tailers and blending them with sugar. However, I've had two blocks of Lush shower jellies in my refrigerator for a year now, because while I love the scents, I don't like the formula. Using the equivalent of Jell-O in the shower just seems wrong, plus they tend to squidge out of my hands and fall down the drain before I get any use out of them!

Last weekend, I took my Champagne Snow Showers jelly out of the fridge and put it in a bowl, started up the hand mixer, and kept adding sugar until I had a good scrubby consistency. I wound up with enough sugar scrub to share with Maresche and KellyGirl when we met for lunch last Saturday. Then I received a gift from my forum friend Mouse of a cauldron (Halloween special) of Isle of Eden's R.I.P. This product is a sugar scrub which is supposed to smell like lavender & mint, but in this particular one, all I could smell was lavender. Given my success with the CSS jelly, I decided to mix Lush's sadly (and hopefully temporarily!) discontinued Deep Sleep Jelly with the R.I.P. and some more sugar.

That one was even better than the CSS one, probably because Isle of Eden's sugar scrubs have a bath cream base. Again, I wound up with a huge amount of scrub, and so I took some to work and shared it with Vintage Girl and the co-worker who does our book covers. I don't know about Cover Girl, but Vintage Girl said to me on Wednesday that she had showered with the scrub that morning and that not only did the lavender calm her down at what is a very stressful time of year for all of us, but that she wondered how she had lived all of her life without the wondrousness that is sugar scrubs! *grin*

I have more CSS to use up, and another Isle of Eden Halloween-only scrub in black currant on the way, and I plan to blend those two. One note on that and on noses--to me, the IoE scent is a perfect match for Lush's Comforter bubble bar. Maresche agreed with me, and accepted a decant of the bath cream. Her husband, however, could only smell cookies! Everyone's nose is always so different.

Ah, well, as MamaFlannelJammies always says, "If we all liked the same things, there would be a world-wide haggis shortage!"

D'oh!

No wonder I've been whacking nerves--I just discovered my auto-injector was set at 10mm instead of the recommended 6mm. That means I've been driving the needle in nearly twice as far as it should go. That's definitely one for the "dumb things I've done" file.

On the other hand, I built one of my books eight days early today, and added a form and fixed some of the references in my other one. Plus I got a lovely surprise in the form of a Thanksgiving card from a friend, saying she was thankful to have gotten to know me. *blush* And she sent chocolate, too!

Speaking of Turkey Day, it looks like NE Ohio is in for some very nasty weather tomorrow, and I've decided I don't want to be northbound on I-71, in the dark, with the semis, driving through freezing rain. So I've informed my sister-in-law that I won't be there, and instead I am planning to go get my five hours for Bosstopus out of the way. After that, I will have a three-day weekend, in which I shall alternate being a complete slug and cleaning Casa de Jammies. My kind of holiday. *grin*

Gossip central

Goldilocks called me at work today to tell me that Snoopy quit. Apparently, he continued to call her at home on the weekends after she'd asked him not to. Finally, she had Vegan Lawyer talk to him, and he just turned in his keys and walked out.

It's going to be a scramble around there until VL hires a new law clerk.

Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.

My team coordinator started the senior editor review of one of my books today, and discovered something I was too new to know. Specifically, the new book I'm working on with Enigman is too long for one volume, and has to be split into two. To judge from the groans of sympathy when I mention to someone that I'm doing a new book, and the gasps of horror when ReunionGal said that the book had to be split, I should be terrified and/or irritated by the whole process.

Instead, I'm excited by learning new stuff, and by the responsibility of a whole brand new book all to myself. Maybe I'll feel differently the next time I'm assigned a new book, but right now, I'm thrilled.

Carelessness = OUCH!

I was talking on the phone to Captain Crossword, who had Annabel on his other phone, so that we could coordinate the signups for shore excursions when we take our family cruise next month. I'm actually doing one thing by myself, which I think is sort of brave of me. Anyway, I was yakking away and went to do my shot while I was talking. CC handed me off to Mom for a minute, and while I was talking to her, I hit the button on my auto-injector and apparently slammed the needle right into a nerve.

There's a line of pain running right down to my fingertips at the moment, and I am one sorry Jammies.

New rule: even though you've done it close to a thousand times before, don't multitask while you're doing your injection.

Ow.

I just hurt myself laughing

Thanks to Zayrina, who found this.

Yum!

My wonderful Saturday started with me sleeping in until 6:45, which was extremely good for me. Then I put in my time at Mom's office, and I was appalled to discover that where Vegan Lawyer has all the 2008 law books from Hyphenated Corp, Mom's are all from our biggest competitor! Shame on you, Bosstopus!

After work, I had a wonderful lunch with Maresche and KellyGirl at The Melting Pot. We had cheddar/beer/garlic/mustard fondue to start, then salads, then chicken breast strips in coq au vin broth. Everything was perfectly yummy. We were all too full to try the desserts, but I think it's probably worth a visit just for the chocolate fondue someday.

After lunch, Maresche headed home because she had a beastly headache turning into a migraine, and KellyGirl and I went over to Lush Beachwood. I was fairly restrained and bought some Christmas presents and a few things for me.

Speaking of presents, not only am I almost done with my Christmas shopping, but I have found birthday presents for Mallie, Jeeves and my mother. As soon as I have the money to buy them, I'll be all set. *grin*

So many books, so little time

is no longer an amusing bumper sticker but the stressful reality of my life. My team has around fifty books to build by November 29th, which is the last day to send a book to manufacturing. Two of those are mine--one easy, one not. The easy one is hanging out waiting for its time to come around, and the not-easy one bit me today when I picked up printout from the copier in the mailroom. It's 2,016 pages, and I had to print two hard copies, one for each editor. Lucky Enigman, my attorney editor on this one, gets to send the copies out to the authors.

At Hyphenated Corp, we have a new guy in the mailroom who is really nice, and some office politics in which I am tangentially embroiled, which is not nice. Mindful of the fact that this is public, I am not going to say anything beyond, "BLEAH."

Speaking of public, the latest issue of "Momentum," fka "Inside MS," recommends that you not have a blog at all in case someone from your job finds it and you get fired for having MS. Erm. Too late for me to not have a blog, and I'm not going to stop posting in it just because of paranoia. Besides, if you do the MS Walk, your name is up on their website with a fundraising page, so why worry about a blog?

Besides, you all know that it's my work persona that is the fake, and Jammies is the real person. ;)

More than anything else,

I want to crawl back into bed and stay there. Not because of work, that's going fairly well right now, if a bit frustrating. No, it's because the L'Hermittes is really acting up. I never know when this happens if it qualifies as a full-blown MS exacerbation, and I'm afraid to ask my neuro in case I wind up with an IV full of solumedrol in my arm for the next three days. But the tingling drives me crazy, especially when it's in my face. It's everywhere else, too, but the face is what makes me want to go back to bed and spend as much time as possible sound asleep.

Bleah. I hate my retarded white cells.

Higgledy-piggledy

A very apt description for the state of my breezeway at the moment. The breezeway is full of houseplants, and there are still four in the garage and one in the foyer. It looks as if the big jade will survive, but it is so very rootbound that I am going to have to wait until next spring to cut it out of its planter and repot it. Or, I may wait until JammiesFest and have someone help me (please note that I am NOT naming any names, here, Jay, Rob).

I love the way the breezeway looks when it's stuffed full of healthy houseplants. However, I do need to rearrange a few things so there is at least a pass-through from the garage to the house as well as a place for me to sit and watch the world go by. I've been invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Pickypants Manor, but I have Black Friday all to my lonesome, and I will either sit like a leaden lump in front of the computer, sleep the day away, or possibly peel the 1970s Chinese restaurant red & gold foil wallpaper off the foyer walls. Watch this space for exciting developments!

(or not, it just depends)

A new family member

The Pickypants family has a dog now! He's an American bulldog, adult, and a rescue. I shall be meeting him on Thanksgiving. He sounds like an absolute cutie, although my sister-in-law says he's got a lot in common with Marley from "Marley and Me." I told her that even Bigfoot, who sets the standard for wonderful dogs, has his Marley moments.

Every boy should have a dog, so now my nephews have one. For that matter, every dog should have a boy, and now Ralph has two!

I believe in the hereafter

...as in walking into a room and thinking, "What am I here after?"

I had a thought today for a meaningful blog entry, and by the time I got home, changed, tried on some clothes that don't quite fit yet, I'd forgotten what it was. I'm sure the poor little thought was lonely, up in my empty head, and ran off to find some friends. If it comes home, I'll post it.

Another wild night

It's possible I've killed my venerable 25-year old jade plant by not getting it inside fast enough. I hope that's not the case, but we shall have to see. The breezeway is returning to its usual overcrowded winter condition, as I stuff all of my plants in there and arrange and re-arrange, trying to find a way for all of them to get sunlight while leaving me room to pick up/vacuum up dropped leaves and petals.

Every year, I acknowledge the fact that I am at my full capacity for houseplants, and every year I succumb to the lure of the pots and baskets everywhere I look in the spring. This year, I went a bit crazy, and got two new geraniums, one white and one pink, two different helichrysums, a "black" sweet potato vine (burgundy leaves), an English Ivy and then I rescued a volunteer geranium that popped up in one of the gladiolus beds.

So now I have plants in the staging area, aka the garage, as I fuss and shuffle and arrange the breezeway. Prisoner of my addiction for sure, and likely to wind up as a prisoner in my own house if my buying sprees continued. I won't be a crazy old cat lady, I'll be a crazy old plant lady!

So proud I could burst

My nephew passed his test today and received his gold belt in Tae Kwon Do. He looked so adorable and serious out there, saying "Yes, Sir!" in a loud, clear voice and doing everything asked of him. I'm definitely going to the next belt test/ceremony.

After the test, we had a celebratory lunch, and the self-possessed young man in the gi turned into a semi-rotten little boy who had to be told three times not to pick his French toast up off the plate and lick the sugar off of it, but that's how it goes when you're seven and a half.

When we returned to Pickypants manor, Mom & Anabel and I looked at all the potential activities for our Disney cruise next February, talked about who wanted to do what and what clothes we are taking, and then Mom & I came home. Overall, a lovely way to spend a fall day.

Book day!

Yup, I built my book today, and then did the CD of forms to go with it. It's pretty comfortable, doing probate books, given my four years working for Bosstopus. I also volunteered to take over as team librarian in 2008, which is very appropriate for me. Everyone except me and two of our attorney editors was either not at work today or gone by 2:30, so it was pretty quiet. I stopped by the old office on my way home, and grabbed my spare box of checks out of the filing cabinet where I haven't remembered to get them for three months. Bosstopus wasn't there, but I walked out with Goldilocks and listened to her complain about Snoopy. I was kind of jealous when she said she and my replacement went to Don Drumm's together. *sigh* I know that's selfish of me, but I couldn't help it.

When I got home, my books from Barnes & Noble were waiting, so tonight I can finish Madeline L'Engle's Time Quintet while I listen to Saving Jane's new CD. Then tomorrow, Mom & I are going to my nephew's karate graduation. We're working together on Sunday, and then I have to clean and do the work I brought home for the afternoon.

Of course, I also have to manage two blog entries for the blog equivalent of NaNo. ;-)

Boring work stuff

I got in this morning, and one of my books had been taken over by MegaBookMan. The minute she got in, Reunion Gal came to tell me that, and to assure me I didn't do anything wrong, it's just that it was an annocode book and they're complicated and I hadn't done one before. I think she was worried that I would be offended or something, but I was mostly relieved, and a little guilty about adding more to MBM's workload.

Now I just have my Tennessee book to build tomorrow and then one Nevada book and one Kentucky book to build at the end of the month. Hopefully, I can work it so they don't both build on the same day.

Oopsie

I attended my first ever dinner for Hyphenated Corp tonight and I seriously overindulged. I had three cups of coffee! It's going to take both Benadryl and a hot bath to get to sleep tonight, that's for sure.

Overall, today was a very good day. I got my hair cut & styled before I went into work, and then just worked straight through until it was time for the dinner. Scary Boss Lady complimented my haircut, and then told me that the peanut-butter filled pretzels I've been bringing in were addictive. I rode up in the elevator with Mr. Rubicund, the bigbig boss who's in from the home office and I don't think I made a complete fool of myself. I fixed all the goofs from earlier in the week and got my book ready to build on Friday and fixed an error in one of the other books I'm working on.

Then, at the dinner, instead of sitting with my team, I sat with a mixed group from other teams and got to know some people I'd only seen before. One of them was nice enough to say that we'd spoken in the elevator and that I was charming. Plus, one of the other women at the table is now interested in Julphia, so I'm going to take in my sample bag tomorrow and let her sniff things.

Tub time!

Wild night out there...

glad I'm in here, reading Madelaine L'Engle books, listening to percolating puppies and happy not to be outside. It reminds me of the night four years ago when I drove home from my second MRI, through freezing rain and wind so wild I was worrying about driving the mile and a half home from the hospital where I had the test.

It's just good to be home, safe and sound, and relax and breathe.

Ragged tail

Mine this time, not Bigfoot's. I got chewed out twice today, both times for jumping the gun and sending out page proofs before they were totally ready. I am trying not to be all defensive about it, but that's still something I need to work on, even after years of knowing it's part of my personality.

Ahh well, it is miserable outside, with a cold rain bucketing down, and I am inside with warm puppymonsters, garlic bread fondue for dinner, and comfy grubby clothes on. I'll live, and hopefully learn.

Cast of Characters

For my few readers, the people around me:

The famdamily:

Flannel Jammies, aka Bosstopus, aka Mom. A lovely woman I admire, with whom I am fortunate enough to have a good relationship, and who occasionally makes me nuts.

Plaid Jammies, aka Dad. A gruff, bearded guy who is trying his best to be a curmudgeon, but still cries at "The Nutcracker." Frequently exasperating, and we butt heads a lot, but he's still my dad, and he does lovely dad things for me.

Middle liddle brother, aka Jeeves. Father of two, worker's comp attorney, possessor of a dry and biting wit and examplar of the Jammies' family self-deprecation technique.

Anabel, aka Mrs. Jeeves. A lovely, intelligent, thoughtful, empathetic woman who nonetheless married my irritating brother. I love spending time with her, and am thrilled, although puzzled, that she was willing to become part of my family.

The Awesome Nacho. Ten year old son of Jeeves and Anabel. Smart, cute, piano-playing black belt who is currently reading a very large non-fiction non-picture book about the battles of WWII, and thinks Justin Bieber is "a wuss."

SuperDoughnut. Seven year old son of Jeeves and Anabel. Smart, cute, piano-playing, drum-learning, stubborn and cuddly kid who loves music and has come a long way since his diagnosis of PDD at the age of three and a half.

Liddle liddle brother, aka Captain Crossword. Looks sort of like Jonathan Frakes, but handsomer. Makes beer for a living, is amazingly intelligent, sweet and funny.

Bookworm Mathgeek, married to Captain Crossword. Very smart, loving woman who shares my interest in books and bath products, and was also insane enough to marry into my family. Poor her, lucky us.

Princess Mathgeek and Princess Minnie. Four year old and twenty month old daughters of Captain Crossword and Bookworm Mathgeek. The most adorable, lovable, smart and amazing nieces in the world.

Local friends:

Amy and Josh. My dogsitter and lawn guy, respectively. Amy is an amazing friend who has been there for me through thick and thin. Josh is growing on me, provided he doesn't talk about killing things.

Doc. My oldest friend. We've known each other since second grade, and while our lives have diverged quite a bit, we can end a conversation in July and pick it up in December without a single dropped stitch.

Vegan Lawyer. The other attorney who shares the office with Bosstopus. Very intelligent, very passionate, a little dogmatic. She's a very giving person, but she tends to be judgmental and not particularly forgiving. Has three sons and a daughter, The Crown Princess, who is youngest and nice but incredibly spoiled.

Goldilocks. Secretary to Vegan Lawyer. Single, lives at home with a very quiet mother and a father who (at least reading between the lines) differs very little from the infamous Fred Phelps. Quiet, rather passive-agressive, but sweet and has become a teeny bit more outspoken in the time I've known her.

Snoopy. Vegan Lawyer's law clerk. Incredibly nosy, divorced and I can see why. No sense of boundaries whatsoever, but very book-smart. Acceptable in small doses, but drives Goldilocks crazy.

Long-distance friends:

KellyGirl. Living with the charming Snickers and their adorable dog, a rescue who shares a name with one of my guys. A baby lawyer, from the platinum blonde hair to the ruby-red lipstick to the perfectly round boobs, she looks like the quintessential California girl. Then she opens her mouth or starts typing, and blows you away with her intelligence, passion and compassion.

Snickers. IT geek, very quiet, very sweet. I don't know him well, but I'm impressed with his brains and his caring for the lovely KellyGirl.

Zayrina. Gorgeous stacked blonde in a nurse outfit who has put up with me since 2001 when I was a total internet newb. Actually slept on her couch so my dog and I could sleep in her bed when I visited her. Intelligent, brave, bossy, outspoken and honest. Has a marshmallow heart, but it's armored. Also has a gift for funny writing and needs to update her blog, damnit.

Mallie. Big giant heart, beautiful long hair, smart sexy geek girl, writer extraordinaire and so good with pets Littlefoot almost hid in her suitcase. Tactful but honest, open but not embarrassing, and someone I adore. Married to:

Scarecrow, aka Jay. Handsome sexy man who has gotten into the habit of hiding his big brain. Frequently stuns me with his insights, and fills out his new jeans quite nicely.

The World's Best Heather. Canadian, which means she has a good toilet, smart, pretty, tiny, blonde, and so sweet you can't hate her for any of the above.

Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia, aka Her Maj. Fellow MS'er and one of the funniest and most rawly honest bloggers out there.

Becs. My almost-twin. Loves autumn, adores cats, writes like a pro, wrestles with corporate silliness and knows what depression can do and fights through it anyway. Also has a weakness for bath products.

The Evil Alpaca, aka the Booty Llama. Surprisingly cuddly and thoughtful for a demonic camelid bent on world domination. Also a good writer, funny and a good friend.

Captain Spaulding, with too many akas to list. Baseball and hockey fan from Eerie, PA. A great guy even if he does like giant mutant felt animals (sports mascots).

kogijiki, aka MegaKogiMonster. A beautiful, talented potter with a huge, giving heart, a twisted sense of humor that complements mine, and fatal weaknesses for perfume and bath products.

Lisabella, aka Yisabeyya. A fellow otter-lover who actually has access to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, a fellow bath product addict who has her stash listed, and a thoughtful and loving friend.

Rogue, whose smart ass is amazingly funny, and who is one of the most supportive people I know. Very cute for someone who bears a striking resemblance to Marty Feldman.

Mickey Mouse, aka Mousie. Loves anything scented with Pink Sugar, and is as sweet as her favorite fragrance. Supportive beyond belief, and always there for her friends.

MaryMargrt. Incredibly giving, dryly funny, has her own team of trained walrii in kilts.

Fiery Lioness, aka Lioness. Brave enough to work retail without Kevlar, BPAL addict, charming, articulate, and shares my geekitude with regard to Pratchett & Lackey.

The Romantic Heretic, aka Rob. A published author of erotica, a charming Canadian with an old-fashioned courtesy and charm seen all too rarely nowadays.

Impressive, aka Imp. A smart, sexy, honest and charming writer who also gives the best girl-kisses anywhere.

Rosy Cheeks, aka SnidelyBabyMama. A schoolteacher with a heart bigger than her pregnant belly will be next May, thoughtful as can be. A lover of bath products and amusement parks.

My Ninjaz:

Mamacat. Sweet, beautiful, talented mother of two, with a caring spirit and a knack for making art both permanent and evanescent.

Tempete. My scent-sister, a bright shining star who shares my love for certain BPAL blends, my frustration with sloppy authors, and who utterly eclipses me in the brains department.

Clever_Girl. A shy person who is beautiful both inside and out, her intelligence is only outdone by her generosity.

Katestamps. The Voice of Reason, a practical, good-smelling knitter who appreciates shoes, cheesy novels, and black currant scents.

Yvaine. Absolutely fearless, incredibly intelligent and amazingly lovely, this young woman has done more with her short time on the planet than others have done with twice or thrice the years.

Vampkat. A tiny, talented henna artist and dedicated Goth.

Queenie, aka Tramp. An indomitable spirit who has faced a ton of trials and come through them with class, grace, a really wicked cane and a hatred of squirrels that rivals my own.

Owls. Funny, funny, funny. She's also intelligent, direct, deep, cute, and incisive, but what strikes you first off is her sense of humor.

Tarak. Bright, loving, smart and with a well-developed sense of the absurd (with her kids, she needs it!).

Clowder. Generous, warm-hearted, brave and witty.

Girlygirl, aka GG. Strong, caring, talented in so very many ways.

The folks at Hyphenated Corp.

Maresche. My fellow Lush addict who let me know there was a job opening. Smart as a whip, recently promoted, mama to an adorable little girl and married to a cute geek who's doing NaNo.

Khover Taegent. Knitter, interested in vintage clothing, books and bath products.

Wilson. My cubicle neighbor, a scarily smart man who's been with the company forever, has a nurturing streak a mile wide, is a great tutor and quick to kill cubicle-invading spiders.

The Little Mermaid. Andersen's mermaid in her non-speaking phase. Miles of curly blonde hair, extreme competence at the job, preternaturally quiet, has a little girl and two cats, and much in love with her husband. A fan of '80s metal and nostalgic about the clothing. If you can get her talking, she's wicked and cynical and fun.

Otis' dogmama. The co-worker who was hired before me but started afterwards. Exhaustingly young, energetic and smart, but cute as a button as she starts out her "grownup life" living with her fiance and their Italian Greyhound mix, Otis.

MegaBookMan. Very smart, but prone to forgetting that other people have a learning curve, which is odd because he's also an English teacher.

TC. My team coordinator and direct report. Very approachable and easy to work with, provided her team is honest with her.

SoccerMom. One of our attorney editors, with a five-year old daughter who is just getting into soccer. Very experienced, quick to help out a co-worker, smart as hell.

Vintage Attorney. Lots of fun to work with and never shy with praise or help. Loves vintage everything, dogs (both her own and others') and is someone I can call friend.

Enigman. Attorney editor, pleasant, easy to work with, very dry and sarcastic sense of humor, does not reveal much about himself.

Hoosier Lawyer? Bouncy, fun, charming attorney editor who hides a wicked sense of humor behind an innocent grin.

Blondezilla. Bossy administrative assistant with as much sense of 'place' as a Dickens character.

Baklavette. The department head. Stick-thin because eating takes time away from work, nice but terrifying, makes great baklava and brings it to all of the department get-togethers.

Last but far from least, my dogs:

Bigfoot. Shepherd/Malamute mix, January 1990-May 11, 2009. He was my heart-dog, the one I loved since he was an awkward five-month old puppy, all legs and ears. He was stubborn, headstrong, much too smart for his own good and very expensive, but also loving and sweet.

Littlefoot. Chow/Golden?/Shepherd Mix. Almost thirteen, but aging gracefully, my eternal puppy, all bounce and petmepetme. Not smart, but a complete cuddlemonster and as adorable as a teddybear.

Little Miss, aka Underfoot. Shepherd/Lab/Who Knows? mix. Tiny compared to dogs I've always had (between 45-50 pounds), but extremely smart and energetic. Also very loving and charming, despite some bad habits I'm trying to train out of her.

Pretty autumn day

And I've done very little that's productive. I did get the grocery shopping done and two boxes mailed to Canada, and as soon as this is posted I shall go make Satin Balls for Bigfoot, but otherwise I have been lazy.

I rarely get hits from Google searches, but it was especially nice to see that I got one Friday night. Someone was looking for Kogi mugs and came here! I'm proud to know Ms. Kogi, and happy that she's getting some recognition for her lovely mugs.

On the subject of being proud of friends, Ms. Yisabeyya actually fell asleep last night without sleeping pills, which is a big brave step forward, Sherri sold a short story, and my friend Megan is well enough to re-open her shop for a short time to take holiday orders.

Yay and way to go to all of my friends.

Where have I been?

Yesterday, I had kibbie (or kibby or kibbi) for the first time, and it was wonderful. Now there are two things from the local Lebanese restaurant I know I like, which means that next time I'm there, I'll be torn between getting one of the two or trying something else new!

I have to make more puppykibbie, aka Satin Balls this weekend, along with mailing some packages and making & mailing some Willies. Plus I have to work for Bosstopus as usual. Hopefully, I can get the cleaning done as well.

This month, I have three books to build, maybe four, but for one of them, it depends on last year's publishing specialist getting me the front matter files--all they sent was page one of both files I need.

At least I have the worry of the 'Foots being overdue on their shots out of the way. I dropped 'em off this morning on my way to work and picked 'em up on my way home. Bigfoot is up to seventy-three pounds and Littlefoot is down to fifty-nine, so I'm feeding them the right amounts, at least. At the moment, they are sacked out in poses of utter exhaustion because today was such a big day. I'm tempted to go have a nap myself, but if I do, I know perfectly well I won't sleep tonight, and since I have to work in the morning, I'll just have a cup of coffee and push on.

All Souls' Day

And appropriately enough, I realized that I've sold my soul. This realization came when I said, with a straight face, "The BFP for TPR on the DCL in SAP has always been eleven-two."

Ack!

This is crunch time at Hyphenated Corp. as we work to push books out before the end of the year. All the books that were pushed back earlier owing to problems of various sorts (frequently but not always due to authors being late with manuscripts) are now at their last chance to be published this year, along with all of the books that were already scheduled for the end of the year. My team has fifty-five books to build by November 29th, and four of those are mine. There are outbreaks of cursing, cries of anguish, and every now and then we get an e-mail from our team leader, who's gotten an e-mail from whoknowswho, asking us to keep it down because we are disturbing other people. Feh. Just as an example, Maresche's team has fifteen or sixteen books to build for this year--I think the only team that has more than we do is the Ohio team.

Despite a few roadblocks, and some moments where I really feel idiotic, I'm still glad I took the job.

Happy Halloween!

Cool day today. My costume won me an honorable mention and a $10 Chipotle gift card, our Skindecent order arrived, and my goodies from UK Lush Retro were waiting on my doorstep when I got home.

These are why my pumpkin didn't win a prize, they're amazing:



This is mine, nice, but in no way in the same league:



And my costume:

Happy Halloween

Now go carve a pumpkin!

Arm, arm, hip, thigh, belly, belly, thigh, hip

That's my little chant so I can remember where I'm supposed to do my Copaxone injections. It's fairly easy to tell where my last injection was, thanks to the quarter-sized itchy hive. I'm back into doing the injections as easily as if I'd never stopped, but every night when I shoot up, I worry about my friend Julphia. She's so young for MS, and it's hitting her hard, and none of the standard therapies (Avonex, Betaseron, Copaxone) seem to be helping her. I haven't heard from her in a while, and I worry. If any of my half-dozen readers can send some good thoughts her way, I'd appreciate it.

Somehow, I managed to strain a muscle in my neck, and today has been sheer agony. Thanks to the surgery, ibuprofen and aspirin are forever on my forbidden list, so I've been alternating heat and cold and tonight I took a bath with a Marathon bubble bar, and used Wiccy afterwards. Sadly, it's impossible to give yourself a really thorough neck rub. Mom helped by telling me she had the exact same thing happen, and it lasted four days even with lots of ibuprofen. Thanks Mom, love you too.

I've been at Hyphenated Corp. for ten weeks now, and I'm getting into the swing of things. I still screw up, but I haven't yet made the same mistake twice, and I'm writing down every new thing I learn. One of these days, I'll take my scribbled pile of notes and type them up in Word so I can stop trying to decipher my own handwriting.

On the home front, with all due respect to the Bard of Avon, what Hell really hath no fury like is a dog whose bed, which he finally got smelling just right, is taken away, washed, and put back together smelling like lavender. And you haven't ever really been cussed out until you've been cussed out in German Shepherd.

Christmas in October

Yesterday, as I was home trying to unstick my eyelids, three packages arrived in the mail. The lovely Yisabeyya returned a book I had loaned her and sent me a soft, fuzzy jackelope (which I managed to rescue from the 'Foots before it got more than a bit slobbered on). A fellow Lushie sent me four Ice Hotel bubble bars as part of a swap, and my wonderful, amazing friend Kogi sent me a mug she made, plus 2 full bottles of BPAL perfumes (Lurid Library and Love and Pain), two of my precious discontinued Green Day bubble bars and another Ice Hotel.

Kogi used stills from "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me" to create this amazing mug:




Then today, my new insurance came through with my Copaxone. Tonight, for the first time in 9 months, I shot myself. Yup. Still hurts, still gives me a giant site reaction. Still, if it keeps my polka dots under control, I'll continue to shoot up.

Not a bad haul for mid-October. Now to plot a really amazing Christmas Box for Kogi...

Happy, happy autumn!

The last few days, I have been harvesting. My volunteer grape tomato plant has provided me with dozens upon dozens of tasty tomatoes, my lavender is ready to be cut down for the winter, and this past week I have harvested nearly half a cup of morning glory seeds.






The lavender is going in my linen closet and to co-workers, and the morning glory seeds are being divvied up into packets for next spring. I am going to plant some of them, some are going to Mallie for her new house, and the rest are available for anyone who wants some very pretty vines with dark purple, red-streaked flowers.

The cold fall air makes my evening baths much more enjoyable, and now I can use all my glorious fall scents. So far, the winner has been Julphia Soapworks' Sandalwood Vanilla, followed by Red Egyptian Musk from Skindecent. I am also very proud to announce that I was one of the forum contest winners for Isle of Eden's holiday collection. My suggestion, called Tucked In, is a pretty layered scrub, is currently one of the top ten best-sellers on the site, and I get a free jumbo scrub!

I built my very first book recently at work, and I am now responsible for three more. Even though my name doesn't appear on them anywhere, I still feel a real sense of pride in them. I'm also amazed at how much I am learning. And earning, for that matter--overtime is not only permitted, but encouraged, and so I have been bringing work home with me. I'm sure I will get tired of it, but right now, it makes me feel very grown-up to bring a book home with me and work on it. There is one annoyance that is not going to change any time soon--the software which converts data to PDFs for our books automatically adds "ISBN #" despite the teeth-grinding redundancy thereof. I get little angry quivers when I think about this, so I shall try not to think of it!

To paraphrase Berke Breathed, "L. R. Jammies, signing off and heading for the tub!"

For a friend

The person for whom this is intended will know it, and I want you also to know that while I can't do much from this distance, I am here to support you whatever way I can. Please read the last sentence and let me know how I can help you fight the depression.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Today seemed to be a pretty typical Monday...Mom's out of town for the week, so I had planned to catch up on the filing stack, which was about 2 feet tall, then get some of my other work done, plus get started on all these annual accountings we have due when she comes back. The Monday part came in when of course I didn't get any of that done owing to a client crisis, and having to prep a Motion for a change of custody and get it ready, along with assorted other court paperwork, have Susan sign Mom's name to all 4 forms and the check and give it to the law clerk in less than an hour...I managed to get it done, only to have Brad come back and say it was all held up because we have a visiting judge on this 10 year old case, so it should be ready for pickup and mailing to our client and opposing counsel tomorrow.

Despite phone calls from four clients who had total mini-meltdowns at the thought that their attorney was out of town for a week (how dare she!) and trying to explain to them that not only can I not give legal advice, if I do so, my boss can lose her ability to practice law, hellooooooooo, I managed to get a pretty good jump on the filing this afternoon, so when I came home, I felt like I'd earned a nap. I got out of my work clothes, grabbed something to eat, and had probably been asleep for about half an hour when the phone rang.

"Pam?"

"Dan?"

"No, Mark."

Oops...guessed the wrong little brother...my only excuse is that I was still half asleep. He figured this out and offered to let me go back to sleep, but I never talk enough with my brothers so I said nah, and tried to shake the cobwebs out of my head. I heard him sending his kids into the other room as we chatted, then he asked if Mom and Dad were going to be taking any overnight trips with our other brother and his wife and daughter and I said no, why? He said he had bad news...I thought first of the tax forms I'd just done for him and asked what the bad news was, still in my sleep fog. His next words shocked me wide awake.

"Uncle Skip killed himself last night."

He went on to tell me that that's all he knows...our cousin called to tell him just now, and he didn't question him on the subject, just called me and was going to call Mom and Dad. We talked just a bit, in the disjointed way of people who are utterly stunned...neither of us had a clue. This is my aunt's ex-husband, or was, I guess I should say. The last time I saw him was early October, and he seemed happy enough with his life, his lady friend, his grandkids. When I was diagnosed with MS, he sent me a thoughtful card, one of the few family members to acknowledge that I have a life-altering disease, and to tell me to keep my chin up.

I'm so sorry I never knew it was so bad for him...I've been whining and moaning about my own depression, about having to take something, and a man who watched me at my first birthday party killed himself, maybe because there wasn't anybody he could moan to, wasn't anybody to talk to about taking an anti-depressant...

No matter how bad it gets, suicide is just too FUCKING FINAL.

A Thousand Words

From I Can Has Cheezburger?

Weirdest dream ever

I was on the front porch of my house in the dream (not this house, just one I made up in the dream), talking to Harvey Fierstein about how a writer had written books about me fighting vampires and it was true and he and his significant other needed to move to someplace remote where they could hide from the vampires. He wasn't wanting to leave and was all insulted that I didn't think he could help me. Then his SO arrived and agreed with me.

Other people started showing up, including a famous vampire hunter who didn't seem to be anything but old and useless, my father in the dream (much younger than my real dad, and a musician) and a female vampire who was not so much on our side as more against the bad guys. She brought a ghoul and a beastie with her, and said that the vampires knew where I was and I had until sunset to get out of the house and hide my tracks so I could keep fighting her.

The vampire hunter showed her that her "ghoul" was just an animated mattress (twin-size, presumably) wearing clothes and I wanted to see it sit down. Then my dream-father turned out to have been changed to a bad vampire, and he turned my dream-dog, and a bunch of friends who had shown up had to kill them both. My dream-father had me by the throat when the vampire woman's beastie changed its allegiance to me and bit my dream-dad, who, btw, said he turned my dog because he had to because he was a guitar player.

MaryMargrt saved a little computer disc which had all kinds of information on it from my dream-dog before he could take it to the bad vampires. My friends helped me get my stuff out of the house and were going to set it on fire when I was out, but it was getting closer and closer to sunset and I kept trying to save books. I was arguing with Mallie, who'd redone my bedroom to look like a teenager's, that I needed to take "grown-up books" out of the room so it would be realistic. I woke up as she was pulling me out of the room because someone had set the house on fire.

My first thought on waking up...

"Why was I putting books in boxes when I could have just chucked them out the window?"

Ahh, retail therapy!

Today was a lovely day. Good company, great purchases, lots of fun. It would be even better if Bookworm Mathgeek could have joined us, but the OhioMart is held every year, so perhaps some year we can get her to fly in for a weekend and join us. I got quite a few Christmas presents, as did Mom & Annabelle, and now I'm wishing I could afford to go back for a few things, but sadly, the $12 to park and get in would make too much of a dent in my budget. Still, I did well today, and I'm pleased with my haul.

CT scan results are in

And I was quite worried, because the tech last night told me they'd go to my doc fast if there was a problem, by Thursday if there wasn't. However, the scan was normal, which presumably means I have all the appropriate organs in the appropriate places, unlike Her Majesty's brother, and the nurse at my doctor's office managed to convey that I am either imaginative or exaggerative, as there is nothing wrong with me.

So. There will not be a repeat of the trudging from doctor to lab ad nauseam that there was four years ago, and I merely have MS and possibly gas.

I can live with that.