Things I have learned in the past week

1.  It really sucks when you have a black eye and an allergy attack which makes your eyes itch.

2.   I stink at typing with a cold pack held to one eye.

3.   There is a line between "summer casual" and "escaped from the ER before they got the restraints on you" and some people are not afraid to cross it and then come to court.

4.  Our local hospital chain thinks prohibiting any personal expression in hair color or tattoos is unprofessional, yet dressing medical staff in all black is professional and so is making fun of Walmart shoppers.

5.  My new-ish co-worker loves makeup as much or more than I do, but she's not a big fan of horror novels.

6.  Hoicking boxes filled with books around the living room two days after a major fall is Not A Good Idea.

7.  I am not a complete loser when it comes to nail art.

I have kick-ass co-workers

When I got to work this morning, my desk was all decorated, both with pre-made 50 decorations and streamers and with office-made signs that said things like "Fifty is the new fabulous."  The one that made me laugh out loud even though it hurt was the one that said, "It Took 50 Years to Look this Good."

One of our investigators was hanging out with my accounts colleague, and she said something that was to become a familiar refrain through the day, "Happy Birth--what on earth happened?"  No one I talked to wanted to believe that I'd fought off a black bear that attacked my parents in a parking lot, so I went with "Walked into a bathroom doorframe".

There was a surprise birthday lunch for me and two of my colleagues, one of whom is also 50 and the other of whom is literally half that.  Someone made the Italian green bean salad that I love and was surprised at how many people asked for the recipe.  I didn't, because it is my favorite summer salad, but I did compliment her on it and notice the basil she put in.

My lip and my eye still look awful, but what hurts is the chest muscle I pulled.  I have to give a shout-out to Mallie, who was the one who talked me into spending money on bras that actually support my boobs, because when I woke up this morning, the pain was so bad I nearly barfed, and I hate to think what it would have been like if I'd gone through the day with inadequate infrastructure.  As it was, I was still in a lot of pain at four o'clock, but I made it home without crying.

Speaking of crying, there was a card in yesterday's mail that was all about what's good about turning 50, and while my niece would dismiss it as "Sappy!"  it made me tear up because it was from my 80 year old uncle.

Family, friends, food and fun.  I could get used to this 50 thing.

So far, 50 sucks

Mom and Dad and I had a very nice dinner last night at a local high-end steakhouse.  I had tomato and mozzarella salad with balsamic vinegar,  half a pretzel breadstick, a NY strip steak with brown sauce and black peppercorns, fries and a slice of flourless chocolate cake, courtesy of the management because Mom had told them we were celebrating Dad's birthday and mine.  I'd probably have been fine if I also hadn't had two Lemon Drop martinis, which hit me hard about a 40 minutes after I got home.  I fell once in the kitchen while I was trying to set up the coffee and then walked into the bathroom door frame while trying to go lie down.

Gross stuff after the jump:

Food, family, fireworks and fun!

I'm home after two lovely days at the lake.  Things did not start well, because at 6:20 Monday morning when I tried to re-settle the carafe in the coffee maker, I wound up splashing boiling water and coffee grounds all over my right hand, the counter, the coffee maker and the floor.  When I got that cleaned up and the car packed, dropping Little Miss Piggie Pie off for boarding was easy, and I grabbed a quick and expensive cup of coffee at Bruegger's before starting out.

My trip was exactly 100 miles in 100 minutes, yay me and yay Edgar.  Mom met me at the Dollar General closest to Lakeside because she was out riding her bike in traffic when I arrived, and gave me her credit card to buy my ticket and car pass and then we headed to the house.

My nieces and nephews are turning out to be really great people, smart and kind and funny.  At the advanced age of 15, The Awesome Nacho still lets his youngest cousin beat on him with a pillow.  Super Doughnut was so afraid he'd miss the golf cart ride to get doughnuts this morning that when I opened the garage door at 6:30 to go outside for a smoke he came barreling down the stairs and stuck his head out the door pleading for me not to leave without him.  I told him to go back to bed, it would be a while.  Princess Mathgeek cheerfully peeled potatoes, went to East Harbor with the joy of a swallow returning to Capistrano, and displayed the snarkasm that is the hallmark and birthright of my family.  Princess Minnie is bright and affectionate and totally and completely addicted to chocolate.

I met three gorgeous dogs--two Golden Retrievers whose owner called them "English Cream Retrievers" and a very sweet, very old, very shy Siberian Husky.  I am totally bragging when I say the latter took to me to such a degree that I heard her owners talking about it as they walked away.

I helped Mom delete the zillion text messages from Verizon on her phone, took the nieces and nephews to the Cheese Haven, read two books and ate several wonderful meals, including an early birthday Bastille Day dinner of beef tenderloin, mashed potatoes, port wine & shallot sauce, roasted green beans and cake.  I took at least four golf cart rides, driving three times, and discovered that Jeeves and I have a fear of heights in common.  Dad set off two fireworks and when the power went out he took the coffee maker out to the garage and ran it off the golf cart battery.

Today I went to The Patio for doughnuts, one dozen for the famdamily, two dozen for work, then got packed up and left Lakeside.  I dropped off the doughnuts, picked up the dog, who was clean and very fluffy after her complimentary bath, came home and took some Benadrool (my eyes have been itching non-stop) and took a nap.  Then I collected the three boxes from my porch--one from Ulta, one from Bath & Body Works and one from someone named Keith in Augusta, Maine.  I haz a puzzled about that last...

As always, I'm glad I went and happy to be home.

"Admit it," he said, "You've always wanted a hug in the middle of the jury room."

And while it had never occurred to me that I might be hugged in the jury assembly room, I will never decline a hug from my father.  Dad got three times lucky last week when he was summoned for jury duty.  He didn't have to appear on Monday or Tuesday, and while he and I were chatting Wednesday morning, Judge Croce herself came down and dismissed the jurors, saying the defendant had pleaded guilty.

Dad looked very nice on Wednesday, and when I told Mom that, she said "Because I dressed him!" :-D  I am fairly sure, btw, that she meant that she picked out his clothes, not that she put them on him.

Last week at work, Monday and Tuesday were frantic, as I tried to docket everything I could before the automatic hearing date changed.  Wednesday I got to see Dad and Thursday was more frantic reviewing and docketing so I could feel free to take Monday through Wednesday of this week off.  County employees had Friday off for the holiday, and come Monday morning, I'm a-headin' up the lake.

While I'm there, I will spend time with my family, eat my mother's wonderful cooking, visit the Cheese Haven and read a book or two.  So looking forward to it!