Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Jammies has a knitting lesson

Ahhh, irony, I am your bitch. At lunchtime, Mom and I talked about Boy Bull Moose from the water fitness classes, who is very sweet. I said that as much as I thought he was a nice person, being near him in either of the water classes was like being at Ground Zero in the Bellagio water fountain show. Then I had to explain what the Bellagio is, what they do with their fountain, and that led to me telling her about the guys at Eepy Bird and the Diet Coke & Mentos Bellagio re-enactment.

Mom has offered several times to teach me to knit, but it wasn't until very recently that I had a reason to want to learn. Today, after we'd both eaten lunch, she brought out two knitting needles and yarn that she had cast on for me, and showed me how to knit. Amid many smartass remarks (all from me, of course) I managed to do about 20 stitches on my own. That took about 15 minutes, and I set the knitting on my lap and took a big swig of my Diet Coke. Unfortunately, it was semi-warm and what I got was almost all bubbles, which went up my nose, down my airway, and back out in a spectacular spit-take and one hell of a coughing jag. I also managed to lose control of my bladder, and since I drink water constantly, I wound up coming home early.

Note to self: sip, don't gulp.

Note to everyone else: it's okay to laugh yourself silly over this. I certainly did. However, hurtful comments will be deleted. I'm a delicate flower, you know.


Sherri said...

Been there.

Done that.

It is, shall we say, very disappointing.

Zayrina said...

Did I ever tell you about the time I had cold water shoot out my nose during a job interview?

The Mad Tatter said...

Congrats on the knitting! I can suggest some sumptuous yarns that will rival the luxury of some of your bath products. I am currently knitting a project with a yarn called Baby Llama. Suffice it to say, I want to knit myself a house out of this stuff so I can live in it.

Becs said...

Crochet, si. Knit, no. Although I do keep trying.

That soda stings when it comes out, don't it?

Jammies said...

Sherri, which is disappointing, the knitting or the lack of control? :D

Z, no, you didn't, but given your gift for comedic storytelling, I'd love to hear about it.

MT, no. Thank you for offering to addict me to something else, but I am doing two small squares for a group project, and then I am done with this knitting stuff, which is not soothing in the least. :p

Becs, Mom says you tend to stick with what you start with. If you crochet first, you will always like that better. Sort of like being a cat person or a dog person.

Severina said...

Don't you know the spitting, loss of bladder control, and cursing like a sailor are all a part of The Wonderful World of Knitting?

Every time someone says The Wonderful World of Knitting Tinkerbell flies up and touches your yarn with her wand and it all glitters.

Or a horsefly gets his wings. Or something. I forget.