A long time ago, a friend said to me, "You wouldn't say shit if your mouth was full of it."
Maybe so, but I certainly said it today, and quite loudly. I went and put in my time for Bosstopus, then stopped at the warehouse store (BJ's) on my way home. It's too damn close to a mall for comfort, and all of the holiday shoppers were in a festive, obnoxious, selfish mood. My nerves were fairly frayed by the time I got there, but I calmed down with the acquisition of three tins of Harmony Bay Autumn Spice coffee and all the other goodies I'd gone to get.
As I was in the checkout line unloading stuff onto the conveyor, the cashier started it up after it had been still for a minute or two. Unfortunately, it startled me when that happened. Disastrously, I had a 22 oz. jar candle in each hand, and both of them went flying. Glass shattered everywhere, I yelled "SHIT!" and everyone looked at me. Sadly, a hole in the floor failed to open, and I was forced to load the rest of my items on the once-more-paused conveyor, pay for my stuff, and do the Modified Walk of Shame to the car.
I hope Goldilocks likes her damn candles, that's all I have to say! :P
I think this absolutely qualifies as a moment to shout obscenities. Of course, you could have followed it up with an equally loud "F*cking Tourettes!"
ReplyDeleteI'm with Becs on that. There are moments when the expletives are REQUIRED. Breaking two candles you haven't yet bought qualifies.
ReplyDeleteI have spent years learning to not only curse creatively, but curse without shame. Because I like my obscenities to sting with the bite of a whip, I often use euphemisms for other moments -- thus the very milquetoast application of "Fiddle" and "Good Gravy" in most daily situations.
And if I do fling an expressive word, I expect it to make those around me look...and tremble.