Tuesday, July 31, 2007


I won't make the obvious comment and inflict a horrible earworm on my few precious readers, but today I asked my team leader why she looks so familiar.

"We graduated from high school together. I thought you knew."

Erm, nope. Clueless Jammies.

However, I'm doing some actual work now in addition to my training, and it feels pretty good. It probably wasn't nice of me to be glad I found an error in the manuscript I was proofing today, but I was. I didn't let the gladness show when I gave it back to the lead editor, but I felt productive. And I found another error in the second manuscript, which is still on my desk, not quite finished.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Day one and hopefully well begun

Today was my first day at Company For Which I Need a Clever Name. The morning commute took 34 minutes (compared to 44 coming home--traffic). My teammates all seem like very likeable people, and CFWINaCN assigned me a mentor, who had a basket all prepared for me filled with special pens, Post-Its, potato chips, hand lotion (she's psychic, it was lavender & oatmeal for irritated skin), mints and two different mini notebooks. I got a full tour, met with my team leader, met with the admin who handles HR stuff, and then my team took me out to lunch. In the afternoon, I had my picture taken (blech) for my ID, learned how to turn in my hours and how to bill them, then got to do some actual proofreading. They're not going to train me on the proprietary software until the other new hire starts on August 13th, so until then I will be proofing hard copy and other odd jobs to help people out.

I need to ask my dad, he of the zillion map programs, to find me an alternate way home from work that doesn't involve that first stretch of 77. My team leader told me to try every single shift available to me over the next two weeks so I can pick the one that works best for me. She said the only rule was that I shouldn't be coming in when nobody else is there for now because if I got stuck, I'd just be bored until someone showed up. Tomorrow, I might try the 9:30-5:30 just to see if the going home traffic is any lighter.

When I got home, my secret swapper from the Lush message board had sent me a HUGE box of goodies. I am making it last, and only opening one present at a time. She has a puppymonster of her own, a very very cute Rottweiler with his own website, and Bigfoot & Littlefoot went nuts sniffing the box. She also managed to find packing tape covered in devil duckies, which I must own for myself. *grin*

And Mallie sent me a lovely card that Pooty helped her write, so all in all, a pretty good day, and a really spectacular one for a Monday!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Perfectly balanced

Long, long ago, I took the Briggs-Myers test and several other similar tests as part of a job search process with a job counselor. When all my results came back and we met, he kept saying how odd it was for someone to be so balanced between artist and accountant, creative and logical, etc. So I have known for quite a while that I need to make both the creative Jammies and the logical Jammies happy.

Putting stuff together is one way I keep both sides happy. Give me a box with ninety-'leven pieces in it and a picture on the front of a bookshelf or garden arch, and I'll struggle and sweat and swear, but enjoy most of the process and love the finished results.

Tonight, however, I have found a project that may have defeated both halves of me. It's supposed to be a very pretty tripartate garden arch (rather than the standard giant hoop o'metal) and I cannot manage to finish it. I've got all three trellises assembled, but I can't get the top. The picture in the box is no help, as it doesn't have an exploded diagram of what goes where. And of course, companies assume that customers are too dumb to read text instructions, so they no longer bother to include them.

Great. It's dark out and I just had a thought of how to do this--intuitive rather than logical. I'll try to scribble a diagram for myself and see tomorrow night if it works.

Friday, July 27, 2007

My mind is not here

With apologies to Robert Burns:

My mind is with Mallie's, my mind is not here,
My mind is with Mallie's, a-chasing the deer;

Friday, July 27th, 2007, my last day of working with Bosstopus, Vegan Lawyer, Goldilocks and Snoopy.

Six a.m. The alarm was set for six-twenty, so I wondered why I was awake. Then The Smell hit me. Bigfoot had had diarrhea all over the hardwood floor (easy to clean) and my bedside rug with the magnolia-patterned center (not so easy to clean, but it's in the wash right now and we shall see). Cleaned that up, put both dogs outside, fed Littlefoot, showered, dressed, went to work.

Nine a.m. Walk into work, and there are two sets of flowers waiting for me from Goldilocks and Snoopy, along with a card from the former that makes my eyes fill with tears and a card from Bosstopus that makes the tears spill over.

Nine-thirty a.m. Snoopy is going to have access to my computer for at least a while in August, so I needed to move the payroll files into my password-protected folder. These are all payroll files for Bosstopus dating back to 2002, and payroll files for middle liddle brother's office from 2003-2006. Copied the file, checked that it was there, deleted the original, went back to the password-protected folder which only had gobbledygook in it. Realized I had shift-deleted the folder, meaning there was no copy in the recycle bin. *Insert very bad language*

Took a deep breath, called Tech Support aka Dad. His response was "Shut your computer down, do not turn it back on. In fact, unplug it and put it in your mother's car to bring home tonight." Did that. He also made one very restrained comment about the advisability of backups. From now on, I will do that.

Return to my desk, count dustbunnies, wonder how I am going to finish up the last accounting we have due in July, plus the payroll taxes, in what's left of my four hour Saturday shift after Tech Support is done dinking around. I also have mutinous thoughts about how I wanted to come in at eight and leave at twelve, and there's no way he's going to be up before noon, let alone in the office. Then I realized that not only am I a jackass who has deleted an original file without backing it up and without checking the copy, I am an ungrateful person who is griping about what hours of his Saturday my father is going to give up to fix my mistake.

Ten fifteen a.m. The phone rings, and it's Snarkzilla over at Probate Court. The accounting Bosstopus took over yesterday is off by three hundred dollars and she ran the tape twice. Dig out our copies and spend time running the disbursements (all one hundred seven of them) through the adding machine twice. Come up with the same number Excel gave me and which we used for the accounting. Staple the adding machine tapes to the relevant pages and set aside for Bosstopus to take over to court. In the mood I am in right now, if I were to call over there, I would probably begin the conversation by shrieking "I'm not wrong, you are, bite me!" which, while satisfying, is not conducive to future peaceful dealings between Bosstopus and the accounts department.

Eleven a.m. Vegan Lawyer tells me she wants to take all of us out to lunch, her treat, to say goodbye. Try not to cry again. NB: Goldilocks has spent all of yesterday and today making random comments about nailing the office door shut/gluing me to my chair/taking other drastic actions to keep me from leaving. This is flattering but also makes me sad. Am saved from tears by the phone ringing. Find out that opposing counsel in an ongoing case has done something sneaky and rotten, not for the first time. On the one hand, all he is doing is irritating the judge, the judicial attorney and the court staff, which is to our benefit. On the other hand, Bosstopus still has to deal with the stealth maneuvers, which is not good for her state of mind.

Eleven fifteen a.m. Waiting for Bosstopus to return from depositions so we can go to lunch. VL opines that she should be done by now because opposing counsel has a short attention span. When Bosstopus finally arrives, we head for lunch. I'm not all that wild about the Olive Garden, but the company was good, and we had fun. VL gave me two necklaces (my birthday present) and a candleholder (my goodbye present). We return to the office and Goldilocks pulls out a vegan chocolate cake (our standby for celebrations). Bosstopus heads over to court to exercise her tact and diplomacy.

Two p.m. A client comes in and I am reminded of the morning's stupidity, as I cannot download a deed, print a will cover or create a deed. VL has to leave for the day/week, so I give her a big hug and promise to stay in touch. Snoopy also has to leave to take a Ward to his audiology testing, so I say goodbye to him as well.

Three-thirty p.m. Bosstopus takes the mail over to catch the last pickup of the week, and when she returns, I realize that I forgot to give her a letter that needed to go out today. Now my drive home includes a detour to the post office, yay. Discuss multiple phone calls with Bosstopus, and fiddle around getting my tasks set up for tomorrow while she handles two client crises that have arisen during the day.

Four-thirty p.m. Take a letter upstairs to another attorney's office and drop it in the slot. Have a final conversation with Bosstopus and with Snoopy, who has returned unexpectedly. Give Bosstopus a phone number she needs, and walk out to my car carrying flowers, Isabel Isafrog and Handsome Rob. Thank Snoopy for carrying the other pot of flowers, load up my car and head home. Forget to go to the post office, so now I will be doing that in the morning.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's Really Real

Maresche sent me a PM on the Lush message board that my cubicle at New Job Place is all set up, including a name tag, and I got a phone call from the recruiter asking me to be there Monday morning at nine. I'm excited and nervous about the new job, and worried about how Bosstopus will do without me. Granted, I will be working for her on Saturdays for at least the next year, but I still have to complete one accounting and do the payroll taxes by the time I leave on Saturday. Ack.

Bigfoot is mostly healing. The bandages are off, but he still has to wear the cervical collar and a sock because the tail is going to be extremely itchy while the hair grows back. The tail was bleeding a bit this morning, probably due to having been whipped around while Bigfoot was outside, so I put Yuk all over it, then added the sock, then put Yuk on the sock. Today at least he left the sock alone. One day at a time (he does look like he needs some tail Rogaine, though).

Some truly pathetic pictures of Bigfoot and the collar that makes him look like a late-night ad for a firm of personal injury lawyers:

After his bandage removal appointment on Wednesday, I took Bigfoot over to my folks' house. Wednesday was Dad's birthday, so I wasn't allowed to yell at him when he fed my dog steak from the table. Since I'm too damn broke to buy him a birthday present, I let him spoil my dog.

Tonight, Mom & I went shopping, and she gave me $30 to spend on clothes. I got two pairs of pants and ten tops. I also found Christmas presents for Mallie and my sister-in-law Annabel. Shopping at Gabriel Brothers is just so cool! When I got home, I got a phone call from my friend Doc, who wanted to know if I was available Saturday night so she could drop off my birthday present. I hadn't quite intended it, but it looks as if I've borrowed Mallie's tradtion and made all of July my birthday month.

I'm feeling incredibly spoiled and lucky by all my wonderful friends and family.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Why Jammies is walking funny

The following is not for delicate flowers, and I'd prefer if Captain Crossword elected not to read any further. Girl gross stuff follows here.

Friday night, I had teeny-tiny little cramps.

They felt like menstrual cramps.

Saturday morning there were tiny little spots in my undies.

They looked like the start of a period.


Insert a day of trying to be normal while totally freaking out over all of the potential Bad Things it could mean that I had cramps and bleeding. Insert a second day of running around the house doing things and trying to convince myself I was fine. Insert a third day in which the receptionist at my OB/Gyn's office interrupted me and said, "What time are you available tomorrow?"

So after work today, I went in to see Hot Doctor. He listened to my description of events, told me it was probably a seroma, stuck what felt like the World's Biggest Speculum up my hooha and took a look. He said it was the smallest seroma he'd ever seen, cauterized it (eep!) and pronounced me well.

I never felt a thing but the giant metal device inside me, so point for his swiftness with the cauterization, but next time, I'm going to ask that he look for a smaller speculum. I swear that one was made for a moose.

Monday, July 23, 2007


Since I worked today, I took my Sunday nap late, and woke up late. Therefore, puppymonster dinners were late. I let Bigfoot out, fed Littlefoot, let Bigfoot in and put Littlefoot out, and instead of his usual "aroo-woo-woo-aroo" noises, Bigfoot let out a loud genuine bark to let me know he wanted his dinner and he wanted it immediately. Yay for the Satan Balls--he's eating every bit of food I give him, possibly putting on a bit of weight, and his coat is shiny as heck.

*knocks wood*

So far, he's left his tail alone. He's got an appointment Tuesday for a bandage change or removal, so we'll see.

I'm just so pleased that he yelled at me for his dinner. I've got my dog back. :)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Family geekitude

When I walked into the warehouse store (BJ's), there was a huge display of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" for $18.29 instead of the $20.99 that Border's is charging. My youngest brother is in from Texas for his high school reunion, and my middle brother was coming up from Columbus to pick up his boys, so I called both of them and asked if they wanted the book. They did, so I got three.

When I got to my folks' house this afternoon, everyone was outside. The kids were playing and the adults were talking. I got out of my car, and my middle brother (the lawyer) comes up to me, holding out a twenty and pretending to twitch, and says, "Dude, did you get the Potter? I need my Potter, man." *giggle*

Then baby brother pretends to read the last page and yells, "OMG, the owl gets it!"

At dinner, when I told Dad that Jay had bought a wireless router for me, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "HE BOUGHT YOU A WHAT!?" He then said that he had two spare ones he could have loaned me, and rolled his eyes as if I should know what's in the packrathabitat he calls his garage. Pfui. *grin*

It was nice to see my brothers and my sisters-in-law, but the best part of the day was when my 18-month old niece fell asleep on me while I was reading a book to her.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Casa de Jammies Garden Tour

The gladiolus that is the Color of Imp:

The bed along the street:

The iron hook & hanging basket at the corner of the street & driveway:

The bed along the driveway:

One of the butterfly bushes along the driveway:

One of the lavender along the driveway:

My Annabel hydrangea:

The heuchera next to the Annabel:

The round bed in the front yard:

The balloon flower in that bed:

The front of the house:

The breezeway:

Volunteer roses in my front bed--eight of them!

The front walk:

My newest hanging basket, helichrysum & black sweet potato vine:

The herb bed with dill, a volunteer tomato, sweet woodruff, chives, lamium and garlic chives:

One of the huge hostas along the garage:

The back yard:

The Blue Light clematis in the back yard bed:

Purple gladiolus in the back yard bed:

Pussy willow in the back bed:

The seating area in the way back:

Wild grapes in the side yard:

Monday, July 16, 2007

Which LOLcat are you?

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat

62 % Affection, 70 % Excitability , 48 % Hunger

You are the good Samaritan of the lolcat world. Protecting others from danger by shouting observations and guidance in cases of imminent threat, you believe in the well-being of everyone.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Empty Casa de Jammies Syndrome


Everybody's gone now, and the house is still and quiet and empty.






Okay, it's as empty as a house with two large male dogs in it can be. That's still pretty empty when you consider that thirty hours ago there were six people here, all folks I adore for various reasons (even, sometimes, myself).

Mallie and Jay arrived safely just before one a.m. Thursday. There was hugging and squeeing and much standing on their parts, for they drove sixteen hours to get to JammiesFest! After the meeting of the hounds and some stretching, they gave me my very extravagant birthday pressies, unpacked, set up their bed and we all went to sleep. Thursday morning, I dropped Bigfoot off for his second tail surgery, and then returned to the house. After a lazy morning, we went to the West Point Market for lunch and shopping for goodies, then home. We also hit a local Target so Jay could purchase a wireless router for my house. Not only did I feel very spoiled, I was heartened by this clear evidence of their intention to return to Casa de Jammies. When we returned from shopping, there was a box for me from my secret swapper, Flip, from the Lush message board. She had sent three tubes of Yuk and a cervical collar to keep rotten boy from further self-mutilation. I just this second realized that I have an Emo dog. *grin*

At the appointed time, I went and retrieved my horrible hound, then dropped him off at the house. Jay and Mallie kindly dog-sat while I went to the bus station to get Rob. Dinner was fabulous cheeses & nibbles from WPM, tomato and green bean salad, and steakburgers Jay and Mallie bought and which he cooked on a hibachi grill also purchased for me as an extra birthday present by Mallie and Jay. The conversation afterwards was fun and far-ranging. We all went to bed on the early side, tired from travel, late nights, etc.

Friday morning was another slow and easy morning. Jay is the best bacon-cooker I know, and I am very glad that I had stocked up on thick-cut peppered bacon from Giant Eagle! My mother's banana bread and my lemon pound cake birthday cake also went over well. Jay discovered that the peppered bacon on pepper cream cheese spread on a black pepper and olive oil Triscuit is an amazing nibble. I was rude and took a nap, Rob discovered the seating area in the back yard was the perfect place for a pipe, some reading, and some critter-watching, and Jay & Mallie went back to the WPM. That evening, Imp arrived in her adorable little white Pri(ap)us. We plied her with alcohol and again talked and talked and talked. I don't remember whether it was Friday night or Saturday morning that I shrieked at Littlefoot and startled Imp. Whenever it was, she jumped and asked if I were mad at her. I said, "Not if you're not the one licking something you shouldn't be," which led to a discussion of what is and is not on the approved lick list.

Saturday was more bacon, lots of coffee, and an afternoon shopping. We went to the Buckeye Bookshop in Akron First and Main and The Learned Owl in Hudson. After the shopping, we headed home and changed for dinner at Mariachi Loco. I didn't need to change, but I wanted to put on my pretty turquoise dress, so I did. Mariachi Loco does a kick-ass chile con queso with white Mexican cheese, and we had that with chips, salsa and guacamole for appetizers. If we hadn't all wanted meat, we could have had just the appetizers, they were so good.

KellyGirl from the Lush message board joined us, along with her sweetie. Kelly and Rob made the same mistake, that of ordering "large" drinks. Kelly's margarita came in a stemmed fishbowl, and Rob's draft beer came in something which strongly resembled a glass gallon jug. Imp, doll that she is, treated everyone to dinner. The conversation was as wonderful as the food, and continued when we returned to Casa de Jammies. Kelly, who is a California girl, got her first look at oodles of fireflies in the back yard. She and her SO are going to have to come back when they can tour the library and visit a bit longer.

Sunday morning, I had a message from Dran to call him early and make sure he was awake. I left a message at 9:30, and he arrived about 10:30. He must have been travelling through a dead spot on I-71 when I called (not knowing my message would be ineffectual and that he was already on the road). We had another quiet day of good food and talk, and squooshed the heck out of Imp when it was time for her to leave.

I planted some gladiolus bulbs in the bed along the street this spring. They are white with maroon throats, most of them. One bulb, however, must have been sorted into the wrong bag, as it opened a rich deep burgundy red. When I saw it, I knew that it was Imp in flower form, and I cut it for her to take home. That red is the color of warmth and beauty and passion and joy, and that is Imp. The bloom was a lovely surprise gift, and that is also Imp. I was thinking that Mallie was the pink and white marbled glads, but after my watering tour this evening, I have decided that she is the beautiful flowing helichrysum, which falls from the planter in the same graceful waves as her hair and is the silvery color of her infectious giggle. Jay is the butterfly bush, strong and tall but gentle with the lovely creatures drawn to his beauty, while Rob is the ajuga, slightly dark and preferring some shadows mixed in with his sunshine, but with some small shy flowers peeking around the dark leaves. Dran could be nothing but a bright redhot poker, standing alone and distinctive.

Sunday night was the first and only time I cooked for my guests. We had Jammies' chicken chili and tomato/mozzarella/fresh basil salad. Dessert was the last of Mom's lemon pound cake, and the hotties in The Mummy. We also saw Blazing Saddles and The Incredibles. Dran left around 9:30 because he had to work today. Bummer. While we were watching movies, I had a glass of a wonderful concoction Jay made from Riesling, strawberries and fresh sweet woodruff, and would have had three or four more had I not been ready for bed. I slept soundly, as I had all weekend. In fact, for someone with more houseguests than she's ever had at one time, I was as relaxed and boneless as a spoiled cat all weekend long.

This morning, Mallie and I toured the yard for the second time. She took pictures of the things that would remind her most of me, and I took garden pictures for the sheer joy of it. There was a moment which reminded me both of my first visit to Snicker and of my essential clumsiness. Mallie had sat down by the front flower bed, and I joined her. When the time came to get up, she asked if I needed a hand, and I said, "No, if you'll hold my camera, I'll be fine." I managed to stand up okay, but when I went to take my camera back, I threw it right on her toe. So our last official moments of togetherness were of giggling and flowers (okay, okay, and quite a bit of pouting on my part--I wanted to keep her).

After Jay and Mallie had left for Clemson, I took my car in for the E-check and then over to the BMV for license plate renewal. Rob was gracious enough to forgive me a nap after lunch, and when I woke up, I packed a survival kit of cheese, chips, crackers and water, and then took him to the bus station.

As I sit here in my quiet house, I am a bit sad because everyone has left, but mostly I am grateful for the blessing of having friends willing to make the epic journey to NE Ohio and fill my house with love and laughter.

Thank you all.

Friday, July 13, 2007

They are here!

Jay, Mallie and Rob have all arrived safely. Alessia's ETA is 8 p.m. tonight, and the status of The Heather, RunsWithBeer and Dranoel remains uncertain. Despite the non-fun obligations of Stoopid Tail Chewer and other things, we have managed to have fun. The house is still a mess, but Mallie is making friends with the dustbunnies, and I have borrowed Zayrina's excuse about the ax murderer decorator, and have made sure to use an awful accent and the phrase "Velcome to de House of Bloooood" to all of my guests.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

JammiesFest '07

began last night with the safe arrival of Jay & Mallie. They got in late, so I am trying not to wake them as I get ready to run Bigfoot back to the vet for an assessment of the damage he did to himself on Sunday. Bigfoot thinks it is Jay & Mallie's job to entertain him, and he is a bit peeved that they are sleeping on the job. He keeps trying to whack the guest room door open with the Collar of Shame.

Terribly embarrassing. *blush*

But they're heeee-eere! *happy Snoopy dance*

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Attack of the Zombie If Bunny

Yes, just when I thought the If Bunny of the job at WestLaw was dead, it rose from the grave. Yesterday afternoon at work, I got a phone call from the recruiter at ThompsonWest, who told me that they'd been authorized to hire a second publishing assistant and the interviewers had specifically requested me.

After a long talk with Mom, an exchange of PMs with Maresche (the one who told me about the job) and a night of sleep, I called this morning and accepted the job. I need to fill out some forms and take a drug test, and they will run a background check, but since I don't have any kind of criminal history and I plan on refraining from poppyseed bagels this weekend, I should start on July 30th. Mom is pleased for me but worried for the office, which I understand. I am very pleased that it's looking as if she & Vegan Lawyer will be able to stay in the office--apparently, the university has no immediate plans for the space.

VL was nice enough to say that the office won't be the same without me, and Goldilocks threatened to bring ropes, nails and glue to work on Tuesday, so she can make it impossible for me to leave. :-) Snoopy had left for the day by the time I found out, so I don't know if anyone will tell him before I come back. Neither of my brothers answered their cells, so if they don't call me back before I hit the Submit Post button, they risk finding out here. *grin*

I'm scared and excited both, and awfully glad I have five days of relaxation before I go back into the office and run around like a headless chicken cleaning up my desk and getting everything shipshape for after I'm gone.

Cleaning tomorrow seems like a simple and quiet thing to do right now, lol.

ETA: Mom surprised me this morning by bringing me a lemon pound cake as my birthday cake and a loaf of her wonderful banana nut bread because I'm having company. I can't wait to cover the cake with sliced fresh strawberries!

Monday, July 09, 2007

A letter from Littlefoot

Dear Auntie MaryMargrt,

Thank you so much for the neato toys that you send to Bigfoot and me. I like the red one best, which is good, 'cos Bigfoot has his nose stuck in the middle of the yellow one and he says he's not sharing.

Bigfoot has been really rotten lately, and PL is very exasperated with him. I am being very very good and sweet and cute and she only pays attention to me when I shove my nose in her hand really hard. It's so unfair--she treats me like a redheaded stepdog!

Oh, thank you for the cryptic pencils, whatever those are. I guess they are a people thing, because they don't smell very yummy and PL put them up in a cupboard even Bigfoot can't reach. Did you know he knows how to open the refrigerator? He's a very smart big brother, even if he is a pain.

PL says it is rude to ask for special favors when someone gives you a present, but I don't care. If you send us any more presents, could you please mail them from your house so they get to smell like all those interesting kitties you have? I didn't get nearly enough snuffle time to enjoy all of the different kitty scents on your shoes when you were here.

Thank you again for the presents, and please consider yourself slurped.



Sunday, July 08, 2007

Can't even think of a title

So at three o'clock, I had more done than I thought and got my second wind, so I took a shower. I sat down in the recliner post-shower and fell asleep for 2 hours. When I woke up, and Stormy had chewed his tail to the point where he was all over blood and he hit a vein and it was spurting.

Blood everywhere--all over the house, the dog, the carpet, so the first thing I did was put the dog in the tub for a rinse. I got a new dressing on him and most of the blood out of his fur, and he jumped out of the tub, KNOCKED ME BACKWARDS into the vanity and ran around the house. He got the new dressing off with his tail still spurting, and got blood everywhere he hadn't gotten it the first time.

Since six o'clock, I have been scrubbing blood out of the sofas, carpet, off walls, chairs, kitchen table, lamps. I thought I was on the home stretch, and that all I had to do was put some stuff away, dust some stuff, and vacuum. Now it's looking as if the kitchen won't even be marginally neat, let alone clean, when everyone arrives.

Oh, and I took my emergency pack of cigarettes out of the freezer and smoked a whole bunch, so I can really feel awful about myself.

Run, Jammies, Run!

See Jammies.

Jammies has a house.

See the house.

Jammies has two dogs.

See the dogs. Their names are Bigfoot and Littlefoot.

My, those are some furry dogs, aren't they?

Jammies has some friends.

See her friends. Their names are Mallie, Jay, Imp, Dran, Rob, Amy, Josh and KellyGirl.

Jammies' friend Scott is now thinking something about "I don't have friends."

Bad Scott!

Jammies is now thinking something very rude at Scott! :o

Bad Jammies!

Jammies is proud of her house and her dogs and her friends.

Jammies invites all of her friends to come stay with her for a weekend.

What is this called?

This is called a house party.

A house party is a good thing.

Before the house party, Jammies must get ready. She must clean the house.

Did Jammies start cleaning two weeks before the party?

No, she did not.

Jammies started cleaning one week before the house party.

Is this a good thing?

No, it is not.

What is this called?

This is called procrastination.

Procrastination is a bad thing.

Now it is eleven forty-seven a.m.

See the clock?

It will be noon very soon.

Jammies didn't start cleaning early.

What did she do?

She spray painted her wicker chairs.

Did she buy enough paint for all three chairs?

She did not.

This is a bad thing.

Jammies' hands are trembling because of the spray-painting.

Jammies is also very tired.

Jammies cannot stop cleaning yet.

She still has lots of work to do!

See the dirty house.

See Jammies looking sad.

Did Jammies learn not to procrastinate?

Probably not.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Panic attack

Not the short of breath anxiety kind, but an attack of panic cleaning. So far, both my room and the guest bedroom are immaculate, but I still have a huge to-do list before I have a houseful of people.

Breezeway: Remove chairs, wash and re-paint
Wash walls
Wash windows
Wash tables
Put everything back!

Kitchen: Clean off counters
Clean off kitchen table
Fix curtain rod
Hang curtains
Wash floors

Living room: Dust & vacuum

Bathroom: Clean tub, sink & toilet
Clean mirrors
Clean floors

Also do approx. 8 loads laundry

Outside: Weed (again!)
Trim dead stuff off hanging basket
Find place to hang oxalis
Fill planter with sand to serve as outdoor ashtray

Even though the list is rather daunting, I'm quite proud of everything I accomplished today. Not only did I get two rooms clean, I filled six boxes with fat clothes, linens and miscellaneous household goods and loaded them into my car for a trip to Goodwill tomorrow.

Stormdog continues to be intransigent about damaging his tail. I don't know what will happen, but I keep swooping down on him and replacing the bandage when I catch him at it. The drawback is that I have to sleep, and he seems to adore going after it at night. *sigh* I'm doing the best I can, but I'm afraid it's not enough.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Calm or Numb? Who knows?

Bigfoot is still going after his tail. At this point, it has become a contest of wills. I have four rolls of tape, two boxes and one roll of gauze, a tube of antibiotic ointment and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He has teeth and attitude. Every time he gets a bandage off, I put it back on.

I'm sticking the recipe Lady FineCat Poodley-Dane gave me for a special dog supplement here so I don't lose it on the Lush message board again. Bigfoot ate his first portion in record time and asked for more, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

Satin Balls Half Recipe -- recommended amount to mix up

5 lbs cheap hamburger (for high fat %)
1/2 large box Total cereal (about 6 cups cereal)
1/2 large box uncooked oatmeal (about 7.5 cups oats)
5 raw eggs
1/2 of 15oz jar wheat germ (about 2 cups)
5 packages Knox unflavored gelatin
5/8 cup vegetable oil (this is pretty close to 2/3 cup)
5/8 cup unsulphered molasses
pinch of salt

Satin balls, Scott, not Satan balls. *giggle*

Oh, and I have to add that greater love hath no friend than he who will, when called on the phone on the Fourth of July, put the words "Satin Balls" into a search engine and tell a friend which ingredients she needs at the grocery store.

I adore you, you cranky camelid. *throat-scritchies and a smooch*

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


I got a call on Friday that I didn't get the job with WestLaw. 'Sokay, I had made up my mind that this wasn't the right time for me to take the job (but yes, I wanted to be the one turning it down--such is vanity).

Bigfoot's tail has been rebandaged, and will stay that way until it either heals or needs to be removed. Dr. Bob was pleasantly surprised to see that the bone wasn't exposed even though Bigfoot had removed two of the sutures. I think Bob could tell I was on a thin edge, because he made a point of reassuring me that it wasn't my fault. Until the tail heals, I need to change the dressing every other day, adding a splorp of antibiotic ointment with each dressing change. In addition, Bigfoot is now wearing a size 30 Elizabethan collar, the size they use for Danes and Mastiffs.

The huge collar presents a challenge for dinnertime, but I swear my puppymonster is strutting as if he'd suddenly been promoted to Really Big Dog.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Unabashed gloating

The hard labor in the garden is done for the year, and now is the time when I get to gloat. There are six gladiolus plants with buds, the butterfly bushes are blooming like mad, and I have eight volunteer mini-roses in the bed against the house which I shall transplant in the fall. The plastic outdoor furniture is scrubbed and set out, and the gravelled area below the apple trees is complete, both awaiting only guests.

*happy sigh*

All of this is why I neglect my house and work my fingers raw in the spring.